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In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v.17

In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 17
It is argued that in specific places in us, young people are made to stay inside their homes from a certain time at night as a curfew. I agree that this must be followed compulsory because these places are in danger at night either due to crime reason such as kidnapping or murder or the place is surrounded by wild animals. There are several reasons for the roaming of young people at night. One of the main reason includes crime being conducted such as kidnapping by using chemicals and no sound could be heard by others or by mudering them with leaving no suspects. those areas are primarily protected by police outside but even though care must be taken as, people cannot leave their own houses and migrate to otthe places. so, a curfew is maintained for protecting people of those places. The second main reason will be due to animals coming at night attacking the people. so, youngsters must be accompanied by parents compulsory in that time. The old people can easily understand the footsteps of dangered species coming forward. In addition, these places must be taken care by the government in protection of the people from dangers evolving at night. Consequently, the jungle must be covered with heavy grills by sealing the area. To summarise, in an emergency youngsters are allowed to go with elders to protect from dangers of crime and the wild animals living in that place. Measures must be taken to control peace and allow free movement of people.
It
is argued
that in specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in us, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are made
to stay inside their homes from a certain time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
as a curfew. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be followed
compulsory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
either due to crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
such as kidnapping or murder or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is surrounded
by wild animals.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the roaming of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
. One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
includes crime
being conducted
such as kidnapping by using chemicals and no sound could
be heard
by others or by
Possible spelling mistake found.
mudering
them with leaving no suspects.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
those
areas are
primarily
protected by police outside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even though
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and migrate to
Possible spelling mistake found.
otthe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, a curfew
is maintained
for protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of those places.

The second main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
will be due to animals coming at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
attacking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be accompanied
by parents compulsory in that time. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
understand the footsteps of
Possible spelling mistake found.
dangered
species coming forward.
In addition
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
care by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in protection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
evolving at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
Consequently
, the jungle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be covered
with heavy grills by sealing the area.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, in an emergency
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "youngster"?
youngsters
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
elders to protect from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of crime and the wild animals living in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to control peace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
free movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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