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Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development? v.2

The supplied maps illustrate the re-development of Langley town inbetween 1910 and 1950. Ovrall, except Jordan Street and Sherman Street roads, everything else is either taken down or shifted to new location over a period of forty years. Firstly, at the north side of Sherman Street, the factory is knocked down and at northeast, a wasteland is vanished. Also, the houses and store situated to the adacent of the Sherman Street are deconstructed. Then all this land is now covered with long storey buildings called as Sherman Mansions. However, the laundry and cafe services still exist with a little change in geographical location and move to northeast corner. In addition to it, the railway line at south and the railway cottages with wasteland for its workers are replaced with Sherman Park with facility of play area for children. On the other hand, Jordan Street at the west of the town have townhouses on both sides of te street in 1910 and westside of this street's townhouses are demolished in 1950 and filled with flats. The east side's townhouses area is contributed towards the expansion of Sherman Park and Mansions.
The supplied maps illustrate the re-development of Langley town
inbetween
1910 and 1950.

Ovrall
, except Jordan
Street
and Sherman
Street
roads, everything else is either taken down or shifted to new location over a period of forty years.

Firstly
, at the north side of Sherman
Street
, the factory
is knocked
down and at northeast, a wasteland
is vanished
.
Also
, the
houses
and store situated to the
adacent
of the Sherman
Street
are deconstructed
. Then all this land is
now
covered with long
storey
buildings called as Sherman Mansions.
However
, the laundry and
cafe
services
still
exist with a
little
change
in geographical location and
move
to northeast corner.

In addition
to it, the railway line at south and the railway cottages with wasteland for its workers
are replaced
with Sherman Park with facility of play area for children.
On the other hand
, Jordan
Street
at the west of the town have townhouses on both sides of
te
street
in 1910 and
westside
of this street's townhouses
are demolished
in 1950 and filled with flats. The east side's townhouses area
is contributed
towards the expansion of Sherman Park and Mansions.
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IELTS academic Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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