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Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development? v.3

Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 3
It is true that digital revolution has fundamentally changed the way that people behave including purchasing habits. Nowadays, there is a great deal of brick and mortar retailers that have gradually been no longer playing a vital role in the economy. While, it might contribute some positive thing to consumers, I believe that this tendency would lead to some negative results. Initially, there are two main reasons that might explain why many high street shops have recently gone out of business. Firstly, applying technology to consumerism that have re-shaped totally the market and customer’s behaviour. The various of technological breakthrough and the internet that have urged the development of e-commerce in which have complex websites designed by approaches which are reliant on practical customer journeys. Besides, in the light of the population explosion, the increasing space using for accommodation has had to widen that take the place of area of street shops. In Hanoi city, for example, the shop houses located in first floor of a block of flats have replaced gradually by residential zones. This movement has created positive changings, but also have had adverse impacts on society as a whole. Obviously, the shift to online shopping has helped the customers be more easy to choose and buy anything they want, which also have allowed both big brands and small and medium enterprises launching a several of promotion campaigns on social platforms such as Facebook, ig, … which are not required too much resources. However, there are some drawbacks because of this direction. Vietnam’s market has exemplified this notion. According to research of National Trading Ministry, 50% local employees who have been working in the retail sector lost their job, that has a significant influence of the rising unemployment rate in Vietnam. In conclusion, there is a plethora of justified reasons which might demonstrate the phenomenon of disappearance of high street shops. This tendency is both positive and negative.
It is true that digital revolution has
fundamentally
changed
the way that
people
behave including purchasing habits. Nowadays, there is a great deal of brick and mortar retailers that have
gradually
been no longer playing a vital role in the economy. While, it might contribute
some
positive
thing to consumers, I believe that this tendency would lead to
some
negative
results.

Initially
, there are two main reasons that might
explain
why
many
high street
shops
have recently gone out of business.
Firstly
, applying technology to consumerism that have re-shaped
totally
the market and customer’s
behaviour
.
The various of
technological breakthrough and the internet that have urged the development of e-commerce in which have complex websites designed by approaches which are reliant on practical customer journeys.
Besides
, in the light of the population explosion, the increasing space using for accommodation has had to widen that take the place of area of street
shops
. In Hanoi city,
for example
, the
shop
houses
located in
first
floor of a block of flats
have
replaced
gradually
by residential zones.

This movement has created
positive
changings
,
but
also
have had adverse impacts on society as a whole.
Obviously
, the shift to online shopping has
helped
the customers be more easy to choose and
buy
anything they want, which
also
have
allowed
both
big
brands and
small
and medium enterprises launching a several of promotion campaigns on social platforms such as Facebook,
ig
, … which are not required too
much
resources.
However
, there are
some
drawbacks
because of this
direction. Vietnam’s market has exemplified this notion. According to research of National Trading Ministry, 50% local employees who have been working in the retail sector lost their job, that has a significant influence of the rising unemployment rate in Vietnam.

In conclusion
, there is a plethora of justified reasons which might demonstrate the phenomenon of disappearance of high street
shops
. This tendency is both
positive
and
negative
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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