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Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you v.8

Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. 8
In work place there has been considerably lower proportion of women in high profile posts such as chief executive officers, directors and managers. A growing number of people believe that companies should prepare to push to women into top managerial jobs. I am totally in the favour of this idea. In this essay, i will present some relevant examples. One of the most important benefits is that it avoids discrimination. Not only it avoids unfairness but also it creates supportive and pleasant work environment to have a better balance of genders in management and senior levels. For instance, most women suffer markedly higher levels of sexual discrimination, lack of managerial support and negative comments about their pregnancy. Moreover, often male bosses puts them at disproportionate risks and women are juggling with family responsibilities such as caring for children and elderly parents leaving them feeling drained. So, undeniably, only female managers could turn out this type of sticky and thorny situations. Another advantage is the thriving performance. What I mean by this is that start-ups lead by women and innovative firms with more women on top management are successful and profitable. What' s more, companies with more gender diversity have more revenue, customers and profitable market share. In a nutshell, although it is common belief of giving prefernce men to women in top jobs, I believe government ought to increase the pipeline of women for higher posts so that women would feel a sense of complete security and would gain career progression in work place.
In work place there has been
considerably
lower proportion of
women
in high profile posts such as chief executive officers, directors and managers. A growing number of
people
believe that
companies
should prepare to push to
women
into top managerial jobs. I am
totally
in the
favour
of this
idea
. In this essay,
i
will present
some
relevant examples.

One of the most
important
benefits is that it avoids discrimination. Not
only
it avoids unfairness
but
also
it creates supportive and pleasant work environment to have a better balance of genders in management and senior levels.
For instance
, most
women
suffer
markedly
higher levels of sexual discrimination, lack of managerial support and
negative
comments about their pregnancy.
Moreover
,
often
male bosses puts them at disproportionate
risks
and
women
are juggling with family responsibilities such as caring for children and elderly parents leaving them feeling drained.
So
,
undeniably
,
only
female managers could turn out this type of sticky and thorny situations.

Another advantage is the thriving performance. What I mean by this is that
start
-ups lead by
women
and innovative firms with more
women
on top management are successful and profitable.
What&
#039; s more,
companies
with more gender diversity have more revenue, customers and profitable market share.

In a nutshell, although it is common belief of giving
prefernce
men
to
women
in top jobs, I believe
government
ought to increase the pipeline of
women
for higher posts
so
that
women
would feel a sense of complete security and would gain career progression in work place.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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