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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other sorts of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.25

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other sorts of progress are equally important for a country. v. 25
Economic growth concerns most of governments all over the world. The majority of them strongly believe that the only way of development is to pay attention to this issue, while some people disagree. They opine other progress, such as cultural has the same value as money. I agree with the second idea to some extent, and in this essay, both views will be discussed. However, a wealthy man might not be prosperous, a poor one is absolutely miserable. On one hand, from the point of view of governments, the industry is the drive of the economy. Productive and qualified industry leads to export which means earning more money and the amount of money distributed per person increases. For instance, men with higher incomes, which caused by the administrative section efforts on the economy, maybe more satisfied, therefore the entire society becomes healthier. On the other hand, it can be observed the rate of depressed people's growth and it has nothing to do with the upward trend of their income usually. This reveals the number of earnings not only cannot guarantee happiness, but also is the cause of emotional diseases. This shows policymakers must take action on other aspects of their people such as culture or communication skills improvement. For example, official USA statistics illustrate that the working hours in America peaks significantly, although in the same period the family or friend’s reunion hours per week plummets almost to 30 minutes which can cause several serious problems in behaviour. Thus, this point should be considered that the main goal of increasing the size of the economy is reaching a better life, not a gloomy one. To summarize the article, although economic growth should be the first priority of governments, the other sides of the nation should not be forgotten and those are as vital as monetary policies. In future states must distribute their effort on all characteristics of their folks whereas focusing on the economy specifically.
Economic growth concerns most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
all over the world. The majority of them
strongly
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way of development is to pay attention to this issue, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disagree. They opine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
progress, such as cultural has the same value as money. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, and in this essay, both views will
be discussed
.

However
, a wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
might not be prosperous, a poor one is
absolutely
miserable. On one hand, from the point of view of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, the industry is the drive of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. Productive and qualified industry leads to export which means earning more money and the amount of money distributed per person increases.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
with higher incomes, which caused by the administrative section efforts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, maybe more satisfied,
therefore
the entire society becomes healthier.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it can
be observed
the rate of depressed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's growth and it has nothing to do with the upward trend of their income
usually
. This reveals the number of earnings not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cannot guarantee happiness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is the cause of emotional diseases. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
policymakers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take action on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as culture or communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
improvement.
For example
, official USA statistics illustrate that the working hours in America peaks
significantly
, although in the same period the family or friend’s reunion hours per week plummets almost to 30 minutes which can cause several serious problems in
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Thus
, this point should
be considered
that the main goal of increasing the size of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is reaching a better life, not a gloomy one.

To summarize
the article, although economic growth should be the
first
priority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sides of the nation should not
be forgotten
and those are as vital as monetary policies. In future states
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
distribute their effort on all characteristics of their folks whereas focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
specifically
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other sorts of progress are equally important for a country. v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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