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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other sorts of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.2

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other sorts of progress are equally important for a country. 2
To start with, it is undeniable that growing the economy is a useful way to measure achievement. The main reason for this is that growth reflects a number of other factors, mainly productivity, which is also related to technological development. It is not merely an abstract number. A related point is that focusing on growth brings opportunity, and optimism to a country. In other words, a larger economy makes it easier to help those less fortunate, as budgets are higher and the better off are less concerned about sharing their wealth. Finally, as a simple number, GDP per capita is relatively easy to measure to focus on. This means it is easier to compare relative wealth and poverty within a nation, which in turn enables the governments to direct more resources to impoverished areas. On the other hand, there is no doubt that governments should also take into account other areas. Proponents of this view point out that there are numerous other aspects of life that can be measured and improved. These range from encouraging positive forms, such as literacy, education levels, and happiness, to the limiting the negative for example homelessness, suicide, obesity and pollution. It is noteworthy that nearly every international development organisation includes these measures (and many more) when they measure improvement and development. The World Bank and the the International Monetary Fund are cases in point. In conclusion, while there is no doubt that economic growth alone is a useful metric, it cannot be denied that other measures of progress should be considered. Therefore, I believe that focusing on growth alone is insufficient.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is undeniable that growing the economy is a useful way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
achievement. The main reason for this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
reflects a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors,
mainly
productivity, which is
also
related to technological development. It is not
merely
an abstract number. A related point is that focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
brings opportunity, and optimism to a country. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, a larger economy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those less fortunate, as budgets are higher and the better off are less concerned about sharing their wealth.
Finally
, as a simple number, GDP per capita is
relatively
easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
to focus on. This means it is easier to compare relative wealth and poverty within a nation, which in turn enables the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to direct more resources to impoverished areas.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
also
take into account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas. Proponents of this view point out that there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of life that can
be measured
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. These range from encouraging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
forms, such as literacy, education levels, and happiness, to the limiting the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
for example
homelessness, suicide, obesity and pollution. It is noteworthy that
nearly
every international development
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
includes these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
(and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more) when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
improvement and development. The World Bank and
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
International Monetary Fund are cases in point.

In conclusion
, while there is no doubt that economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
alone is a useful metric, it cannot
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
of progress should
be considered
.
Therefore
, I believe that focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
alone is insufficient.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other sorts of progress are equally important for a country. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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