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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.20

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 20
There are split opinions regarding this topic stop in that context coma some people believe that economic progress is the main goal, whereas the other group of believers think that another kind of progress is also significant as economic growth. However, both have its own pros and cons. Therefore, before commenting on my decision, both the opinion would be discussed. Examine the former opinion the primary argument the supporters would put forward is the investment of foreign companies in that country full stop as it is seen that multinational companies show their interest in those countries which are strong economically because there is always a chance that the company also perform well in that region. Moreover, these companies may provide jobs for the indigenous people of the country. On the contrary, the relative you suggest that investing money on infrastructure and improvement in the education sector has the same importance. As, due to the increasing population, government should pay more attention to word building more new houses for them furthermore, fixing the old building and roads should be the main concern of the government, as in natural calamities it may collapse all staff talking about the education sector, most of the rural children left uneducated due to non-availability of schools in their region a government should lay more implies on it. To conclude and give my opinion, I would say that an economically strong of a country is a good thing, but in a big picture, we should not have to neglect the other parts of growth in a country.
There
are split
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
regarding this topic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
in that context coma
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that economic progress is the main goal, whereas the other group of believers
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "thinks"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'think' is not always incorrect.)
think
that another kind of progress is
also
significant as economic growth.
However
, both have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commenting on my decision, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
would
be discussed
.

Examine the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
the primary argument the supporters would put forward is the investment of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their interest in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are strong
economically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is always a chance that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
also
perform well in that region.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
may provide jobs for the indigenous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the country.

On the contrary
, the relative you suggest that investing money on infrastructure and improvement in the education sector has the same importance. As, due to the increasing population,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay more attention to word building more new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for them
furthermore
, fixing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
building and roads should be the main concern of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, as in natural calamities it may collapse all staff talking about the education sector, most of the rural children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
uneducated due to non-availability of schools in their region a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should lay more implies on it.

To conclude
and give my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, I would say that an
economically
strong of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture, we should not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
neglect the other parts of growth in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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