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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.11

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 11
These days the majority of governments are showing a lot of interest in developing the country economically. while some people feel that governments should give equal importance to other factors too. I agree with the latter view. On the one hand, Governments these days giving more priority to economic growth. This is because, having an excellent fiscal condition will help them to implement new schemes and programs that are useful for developing their nation — for instance, sanctioning the budget for building homes for poor, repairing roads, building dams etc. In contrast, if the government don't show interest in economic factors, it may fall in debts. As a result, it will improve the country's infrastructure in many fields. On the other hand, I would argue that there are many points to be considered along with economic factors such as literacy rate, poverty rate, and health rate. Since the majority of the government's income comes from the public only, it should give more weight to them. For Example, implementing schemes like free education, creating work for the workless people, and free health to poverty-stricken people will be helpful. Moreover, it will change the lifestyle of people. Also, executing these type of public welfare activities will improve the financial conditions of the country slowly and steadily. To sum up, Giving priority to only economic factors may increase the GDP of the country significantly while proffering equal importance with other factors like literacy, health, and poverty would rose the growth slightly and strongly.
These days the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interest in developing the country
economically
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should give equal importance to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
too. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
these days giving more priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, having an excellent fiscal condition will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to implement new schemes and programs that are useful for developing their nation —
for instance
, sanctioning the budget for building homes for poor, repairing roads, building dams etc.
In contrast
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
, it may fall in debts.
As a result
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the country's infrastructure in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields.

On the other hand
, I would argue that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
points to
be considered
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as literacy rate, poverty rate, and health rate. Since the majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, it should give more weight to them.
For Example
, implementing schemes like free education, creating work for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
workless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and free health to poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be helpful.
Moreover
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, executing these type of public welfare activities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the financial conditions of the country
slowly
and
steadily
.

To sum up, Giving priority to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
may increase the GDP of the country
significantly
while proffering equal importance with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
like literacy, health, and poverty would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "rise"
rose
the growth
slightly
and
strongly
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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