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Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion. v.1

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Give your opinion. v. 1
Nowadays, art occupies an important role in our society. As some authorities in the world spend huge amounts of money on art, which further helps to improve the quality of people's life, but a plethora of people thinks they should spend money on other things. In this essay, I disagree with this statement and share my opinion. In the recent era, the future of a child is not only confined to the academic education, although they can make their career in the arts. I totally disagree with this statement that authorities should spend cash on other fields rather than arts. In the modern era, Education is not only limited to the education as they shape their future in another aspect of the arts. If agencies spend more money on the arts, then it helped to those students who don't have so much money to pursue it as a career because the learning of the arts really need a lot of cash which is not possible for those folks who are living under the poverty line. It has been observed from the data that children are not going for higher education beside this they are opting their future in different skills of the arts. I will opine with this fact t that everyone is born with some hidden talents and if they get a platform they will definitely excel in that field. Nowadays, various reality programmes provide a platform to the kids to make their career out of it, but for this they required a training and it is possible only the folks who have lot of money but if the government supported the poor section of the society, They will definitely get the opportunity for a better career. For instance, Salman, who won the Indian idol recently also get aid from the agencies for the training. To conclude, Art is becoming the special need of the society because it provides the enjoyment as well as helping them to pursue their career. So, if agencies provide an appropriate budget, then definitely, it helps them a lot.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
occupies an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our society. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
authorities in the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
huge amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, which
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on other things. In this essay, I disagree with this statement and share my opinion.

In the recent era, the future of a child is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
confined to the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, although they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. I
totally
disagree with this statement that authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
cash on other fields
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. In the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as they shape their future in another aspect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. If agencies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to those students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to pursue it as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the learning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
really
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cash which is not possible for those folks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are living under the poverty line. It has
been observed
from the data that children are not going for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
beside this they are opting their future in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the arts.

I will opine with this fact t that everyone
is born
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hidden talents and if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a platform they will definitely excel in that field. Nowadays, various reality
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
provide a platform to the kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
out of it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for this they required a training and it is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the folks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
supported the poor section of the society, They will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
For instance
, Salman,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
won the Indian idol recently
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aid from the agencies for the training.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is becoming the special need of the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides the enjoyment
as well
as helping them to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if agencies provide an appropriate budget, then definitely, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them a lot.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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