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Many government think that economic growth is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many government think that economic growth is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 2
People hold different views about how to measure the development of a country. While I agree with the view that economic progress is essential, I believe that there are a range of other forms of progress which are equally important. It is apparent that economic growth has long been high on government’s agenda worldwide, which is seen as a fundamental goal for countries. This might be explained by the first reason that a healthy economy would boost job creation for labour market and result in a high rate of employment. As a result, employees would be paid with higher wages, which enable them to cover their basic needs and improve the standards of living. Furthermore, when the economic growth collects higher revenues, the government will have more budgets to spend on infrastructure and public services. For example, public transport system would be invested more and improved by increasing the frequency of buses or tubes, which would make them more convenient for users. Finally, a thriving economy would help a country have a strong standing on the global stage through international trading and cooperation. On the other hand, I would argue that various other measures of progress needed to consider as the economic factor. Firstly, it is said that the economic growth which is not based on conserving natural resources is causing severe environmental consequences. For example, the continued use of fossil fuels which provides the energy for economic development is causing global warming. This is leading to a rise in sea levels, which eventually makes millions of poor people homeless. Secondly, the perception of people in society about social justice, human rights and cultural preservation has also been significant. For instance, Bhutan which has rejected Gross Domestic Production as the only way to measure progress, is the only country in the world that has “Gross National Happiness”. This index measures prosperity by its citizen’s happiness levels which ensure material and spiritual development to happen together. Consequently, this country, which has been known as one of the happiest place in the world, not only can keep economic growing, but also maintain the environment and cultural identity at the same time. In conclusion, although I accept that economic growth plays an important role, I believe that the authorities should allocate resources to other areas properly to achieve sustainable development goals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is essential, I believe that there are a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
which are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

It is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
has long been high on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s agenda worldwide, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a fundamental goal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the
first
reason that a healthy economy would boost job creation for
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market and result in a high rate of employment.
As a result
, employees would
be paid
with higher wages, which enable them to cover their basic needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standards of living.
Furthermore
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
collects higher revenues, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will have more budgets to spend on infrastructure and public services.
For example
, public transport system would
be invested
more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by increasing the frequency of buses or tubes, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more convenient for users.
Finally
, a thriving economy would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have a strong standing on the global stage through international trading and cooperation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I would argue that various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
needed to consider as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
factor.
Firstly
, it
is said
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
which is not based on conserving natural resources is causing severe environmental consequences.
For example
, the continued
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels which provides the energy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is causing global warming. This is leading to a rise in sea levels, which
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
millions of poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
homeless.
Secondly
, the perception of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society about social justice, human rights and cultural preservation has
also
been significant.
For instance
, Bhutan which has rejected Gross Domestic Production as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the world that has “Gross National Happiness”. This index
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
prosperity by its citizen’s happiness levels which ensure material and spiritual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
to happen together.
Consequently
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which has
been known
as one of the happiest place in the world, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
maintain the environment and cultural identity at the same time.

In conclusion
, although I accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role, I believe that the authorities should allocate resources to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas
properly
to achieve sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
goals.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many government think that economic growth is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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