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Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.3

Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 3
Nowadays, the world is witnessing the dramatic development of many countries, especially in economic field. It is said that the most essential purpose of a nation is the developed economic progress. Others believe that progresses of other fields play equal roles as economy. In my opinion, I agree with the latter statement. On the one hand, flourish economy can bring about many benefits. Strong economy can provide a country ability to improve facilities, infrastructure and so on which can lead to the situation that living standard of citizens can be improved. For example, in developed economy, there will be a great deal of employment as well as the refurbishment of the hospitals and transport system. Moreover, the strength of economic conditions can emphasize the position of a countries in international scale which can bring about many opportunities for more flourish economy and stable national security. Therefore, economic development is one of the most essential parts of a country. On the other hand, there are other fields that play balanced role as economy which support the development of economy in the best conditions. First and foremost, balancing the society is another part that countries should take into consideration. Narrowing the gap between the poor and the rich, guarantee the internal security of a nation and preventing the bad news released by reactionary organizations from citizens and so on are the necessary measures need the attraction of governments which can surely be solved radically by a great deal of money. Another point, investing in education is the key process of a nation for long-term improvement. This process can guarantee the ability of future leaders and individuals to manage and contribute for the nation in the next years. In conclusion, although economic development brings about many positive aspects, other process like society and education should be taken into accounts for sustainable evolution of a country.
Nowadays, the world is witnessing the dramatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
field. It
is said
that the most essential purpose of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress. Others believe that progresses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields play equal roles as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter statement.

On the one hand, flourish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
can bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. Strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
can provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
facilities, infrastructure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which can lead to the situation that living standard of citizens can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
For example
, in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, there will be a great deal of employment
as well
as the refurbishment of the hospitals and transport system.
Moreover
, the strength of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
conditions can emphasize the position of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in international scale which can bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities for more flourish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and stable national security.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is one of the most essential parts of a country.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields that play balanced role as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
which support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in the best conditions.
First
and foremost, balancing the society is another part that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should take into consideration. Narrowing the gap between the poor and the rich, guarantee the internal security of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and preventing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
news released by reactionary organizations from citizens and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are the necessary measures need the attraction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
which can
surely
be solved
radically
by a great deal of money. Another point, investing in education is the key process of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
for long-term improvement. This process can guarantee the ability of future leaders and individuals to manage and contribute for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
in the
next
years.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
process like society and education should
be taken
into accounts for sustainable evolution of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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