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Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however think that other tpes of progress are equally important for a countr. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.2

Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however think that other tpes of progress are equally important for a countr. 2
It is crucial to consider which fields the government should develop. While some believe that economic progress is the most important one, I would argue that, even though it is vital, other kinds of stride must be evenly encouraged. Firstly, it is necessary to acknowledge that economic development is indispensable for a nation. The reason for this is that economic development is likely to determine the population's quality of life. For example, a country which has a powerful economy, such as the USA, can offer a better life to its inhabitants than Peru, whose economy is weaker and smaller. Therefore, if a nation focuses on progressing economically, their citizens will be happier. Nevertheless, one might defend that cultural and political progress are equally relevant to improve a country. This is because those realms doesn't only affect the satisfaction of a society, but also exerts an influence on economic advancement. For instance, a person who has a rich and fun culture may feel more vigorous to work and, thus, produce more than a dissatisfied person. Moreover, having a representative and responsible leadership for the nation means that the economical advance will continue. In contrast, if a country does not care about how it is managed, all its advances in the economical field may be loosened in a few years. In conclusion, although it is of critical importance that a government has economic progress, it is my firm belief that other kinds of improvement, such as the cultural and political ones, should have similar importance.
It is crucial to consider which fields the
government
should develop. While
some
believe that
economic
progress is the most
important
one, I would argue that,
even though
it is vital, other kinds of stride
must
be
evenly
encouraged.

Firstly
, it is necessary to acknowledge that
economic
development is indispensable for a nation.
The reason for this is
that
economic
development is likely to determine the population's quality of life.
For example
, a country which has a powerful economy, such as the USA, can offer a better life to its inhabitants than Peru, whose economy is weaker and smaller.
Therefore
, if a nation focuses on progressing
economically
, their citizens will be happier.

Nevertheless
, one might defend that cultural and political progress are
equally
relevant to
improve
a country. This is
because
those realms doesn't
only
affect the satisfaction of a society,
but
also
exerts an influence on
economic
advancement.
For instance
, a person who has a rich and fun culture may feel more vigorous to work and,
thus
, produce more than a dissatisfied person.
Moreover
, having a representative and responsible leadership for the nation means that the economical advance will continue.
In contrast
, if a country does not care about how it
is managed
, all its advances in the economical field may
be loosened
in a few years.

In conclusion
, although it is of critical importance that a
government
has
economic
progress, it is my firm belief that other kinds of improvement, such as the cultural and political ones, should have similar importance.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however think that other tpes of progress are equally important for a countr. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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