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Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 1
Nowadays, due to threats of robbery like house breaking or armed robbery on the roads, people will frightened to go outside home or the streets alone especially in the midnight. To lessen these fearful people can take significant steps like to set up motion-detecting outdoor lights and install the alarming system and get a pet dog etc. I think cops have to say alert all time and also keep patrolling overnight frequently. The first and for most reason behind thefts like burglary is the thieves are kept informed about victim throughout the internet and mails and some of social media's like Facebook, Instagrams etc. People used to update their vacation plans on the social media and this information will help the robbers to do the robbery. For instance, the data of crime report 2015 shows that 85% of burglaries are occurring due to people putting their personal data on the internet and social media. Another reason behind the theft is lacking of home security systems. The thieves have searched the area of their targeted, they'd all the information by analysing that earmarked territory. These will lead to larceny and sometimes will result in to death crime of the victim. I think people should set the proper surveillance camera around the house and get a pet dog. And the most important thing is to install front door alarm so that person gets alert if any unknown will try to enter the house. And also having a security guard overnight will reduce the peril of embezzlement. To conclude, the people should be aware and should not spread their private information on publicly.
Nowadays, due to threats of robbery like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
breaking or armed robbery on the roads,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will frightened to go outside home or the streets alone
especially
in the midnight. To lessen these fearful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take significant steps like to set up motion-detecting outdoor lights and install the alarming system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a pet dog etc. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
cops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say alert all time and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
patrolling overnight
frequently
.

The
first
and for most reason behind thefts like burglary is the thieves are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
informed about victim throughout the internet and mails and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of social media's like Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Instagrams
etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to update their vacation plans on the social media and this information will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the robbers to do the robbery.
For instance
, the data of crime report 2015
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 85% of burglaries are occurring due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
putting their personal data on the internet and social media.

Another reason behind the theft is lacking of home security systems. The thieves have searched the area of their targeted, they'd all the information by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
that earmarked territory. These will lead to larceny and
The adverb 'sometimes' is usually put between 'will' and 'result'.
sometimes will result
in to death crime of the victim. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should set the proper surveillance camera around the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a pet dog. And the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is to install front door alarm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
alert if any unknown will try to enter the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. And
also
having a security guard overnight will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the peril of embezzlement.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be aware and should not spread their private information on
publicly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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