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Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. v. 2
To begin with, the rewards are needed everyone and they are important in order to improve someone. Personally, I think that the most of rewards should be given to students. I agree that students perform better when they are rewarded rather than punished, and it will be explained why. On the one hand, there are many reasons that rewarding students are greater then punishing. One of them is following, human love the hearing positive words from others, especially, students, because every word that teachers talk to students will affect their behaviour. In addition, students which receive rewards (like a certificate), from a teacher will perform better and do their best. Furthermore, rewards will motivate them to be a perfect and responsible in something. Likewise, students self-confident will increase day by day. On the other hand, punishing students then reward them cause of negative experience in childhood or at a young age. At the same time, students who are punished will not go to school again, in order to do not hear punishing from teachers again. For instance, some students are embarrassed when they are making a mistake or fail in object that lead to them do not have knowledge. Furthermore, it will effect to their future lifestyle or finding a professional job. Afterwards, they can be a society problem like a thief, who will punish mutually in answer. To sum up all above mentioned opinions, suggestions, it is obvious that students will perfect at something or perform better when they are rewarded rather than punished.
To
begin
with, the
rewards
are needed
everyone and
they are
important
in order to
improve
someone.
Personally
, I
think
that the most of
rewards
should be
given
to
students
. I
agree
that
students
perform better when they
are rewarded
rather
than punished, and it will be
explained
why.

On the one hand, there are
many
reasons that rewarding
students
are
greater then
punishing. One of them is following, human
love
the hearing
positive
words from others,
especially
,
students
,
because
every word that teachers talk to
students
will affect their
behaviour
.
In addition
,
students
which receive
rewards
(like a certificate), from a teacher will perform better and do their best.
Furthermore
,
rewards
will motivate them to be a perfect and responsible in something.
Likewise
,
students
self-confident will increase day by day.

On the other hand
, punishing
students
then
reward
them cause of
negative
experience in childhood or at a young age. At the same time,
students
who
are punished
will not go to school again, in order to do not hear punishing from teachers again.
For instance
,
some
students
are embarrassed
when they are making a mistake or fail in object that lead to them do not have knowledge.
Furthermore
, it will
effect
to their future lifestyle or finding a professional job. Afterwards, they can be a society problem like a thief, who will punish
mutually
in answer.

To sum up all above mentioned opinions, suggestions, it is obvious that
students
will perfect at something or perform better when they
are rewarded
rather
than punished.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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