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Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
So many factors influence the purchase of goods and services such as advertisement, incentives and low cost. A lot of popular sports players publicize sports products. While advertisement of athletic goods and services by well known players does have some deficits, these are incomparable to the benefits. This essay will discuss why the advantages of promoting sports products by famous sports players outweigh the disadvantages. The greatest benefit of advertising sports brands by top sports professionals is that the masses will tend to develop trust and love for the products more than the ones without sports celebrities. To illustrate, trust is earned when a famous sport player endorses a brand. People will choose such service easily because of their love for the player. For instance, a popular football player by name Victor Ikpeba is the current ambassador of bet9ja betting company. Because of his influence, a good number of persons trust and love bet9ja more than other betting companies. Hence, the positive influence of popular sports players has a way of making people trust and love sports different products. The main drawback of publicising sports products with a famous sport player is that when the player looses his or her prestige, buyers of such products will lose faith in the products or services. For example, a recent report has it that, people are no longer purchasing sports wears from Royal king company because their brand ambassador lost several chances of scoring goals in the last concluded football champion league. Another disadvantage is that most sports players may chose to advertise for another company who sells same sports products because of financial gains, thereby making people to prefer the later than the former. For instance, recently a well loved volleyball player switched his ambassadorship from a sneakers company to another company that sells footwear's because the new company doubled his pay. Thus, advertisement of sports goods or services with a brand influencer can sometimes influence the purchase of products negatively. Taking everything into consideration, although using well known sports players to advertise sports products has some negative effect such as lose of prestige and financial greed, the positive effect far outweighs the negative effect. The love and trust people have for this players will definitely bring constant patronage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
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goods
and
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services
such as advertisement, incentives and low cost.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
popular
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sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
publicize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. While
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
athletic
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goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
by well known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deficits, these are incomparable to the benefits. This essay will discuss why the advantages of promoting
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sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
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sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
outweigh the disadvantages.

The greatest benefit of advertising
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sports
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brands
by top
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sports
professionals is that the masses will tend to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
and
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love
for the
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products
more than the ones without
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sports
celebrities. To illustrate,
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trust
is earned
when a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
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player
endorses a
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brand
.
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People
will choose such
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service
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
for the
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player
.
For instance
, a popular football
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player
by name Victor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ikpeba
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
ambassador of bet9ja betting
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company
.
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Because
of his
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influence
, a
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good
number of persons
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trust
and
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love
bet9ja more than other betting
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companies
.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
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influence
of popular
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sports
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players
has a way of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
and
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love
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sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products.

The main drawback of
Do not mix variants of the same word ('publicise' and 'publicize') within a single text.
publicising
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sports
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products
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
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sport
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player
is that when the
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player
looses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
prestige, buyers of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will lose faith in the
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products
or
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services
.
For example
, a recent report has it that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are no longer purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
wears from Royal king
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
ambassador lost several chances of scoring goals in the last concluded football champion league. Another disadvantage is that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
may chose to advertise for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
who sells same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of financial gains, thereby making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to prefer the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
than the former.
For instance
, recently a well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
volleyball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
switched his ambassadorship from a sneakers
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company
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that sells footwear's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
doubled his pay.
Thus
,
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
influencer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
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influence
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
negatively
.

Taking everything into consideration, although using well known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect such as lose of prestige and financial greed, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect far outweighs the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have for
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
will definitely bring constant patronage.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
79Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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