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Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.5

Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. v. 5
There are different opinions with regard to the question of whether it is a positive or negative impact on children when families change the country of residence. The purpose of this essay is to analyse both perspectives of this argument and then I will give my opinion, which is that moving to new places affects youths favourably. Migrating to foreign nations can be immensely beneficial for children for several reasons. The principal one is that people move to developed countries to provide a better life for them and their children. Due to this, many aspects of a youngster's life become better. For example, Canada not only provides free health care, but also the quality of their medical care is much higher in comparison with underdeveloped nations. In addition, youths are able to obtain a high-quality education which will inevitably lead them to better job opportunities in the future. Thus, young people benefit from living in new countries feeling more secure and satisfied. On the other hand, there are those believing that moving to other countries has a negative impact on children. The main reason for this is that there is a possibility of youths feeling confused due to the language barrier. It is often the case that the native language of migrants is different from the one which is spoken in the new country. Therefore, it is clear that young people can experience difficulties in communication which is able to cause a sense of isolation from peers. In conclusion, both arguments have their merits. However, I tend to believe that although initially, youngsters can find it difficult to mingle with peers, they still benefit from migrating to a foreign nation due to better opportunities, such as high-quality medical care and education.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions with regard to
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of residence. The purpose of this essay is to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both perspectives of this argument and then I will give my opinion, which is that moving to new places affects youths
Possible spelling mistake found.
favourably
.

Migrating to foreign nations can be
immensely
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for several reasons. The principal one is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life for them and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Due to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of a youngster's life become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
For example
, Canada not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides free health care,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the quality of their medical care is much higher
in comparison
with underdeveloped nations.
In addition
, youths are able to obtain a high-quality education which will
inevitably
lead them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job opportunities in the future.
Thus
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
benefit from living in new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
feeling more secure and satisfied.

On the other hand
, there are those believing that moving to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The main reason for this is that there is a possibility of youths feeling confused due to the language barrier. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the case that the native language of migrants is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the one which
is spoken
in the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can experience difficulties in communication which is able to cause a sense of isolation from peers.

In conclusion
, both arguments have their merits.
However
, I tend to believe that although
initially
, youngsters can find it difficult to mingle with peers, they
still
benefit from migrating to a foreign nation due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opportunities, such as high-quality medical care and education.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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