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Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. v. 3
Migration for work is a popular trend. While some people argue that it has a bad impact on children, others, however, think that that it is a positive development. I believe that people migrate for better future prospects and it is beneficial for their children. On the one hand, people migrate to foreign nations because they want to provide a better life for their family and children. Most of these people migrate from under-developed countries to developed nations. This is because most of these developed countries provide free education and medical services to families. To illustrate further, Canada provides free medical care and education to its people. Furthermore, once youngsters complete their education they have much better job opportunities than they could have in their home country. As a result, youngsters feel more secure and satisfied. On the other hand, others believe that migrating to a new country has a negative impact on children. To start with, they may find it harder to adjust to a new culture. Youngsters need time and friends to adjust to a new society and when they do not find friends, they feel isolated and many of them become the victim of depression. Moreover, a foreign language is another hurdle that they face. Many families who migrate from Asian countries to Europe are not fluent in a local language like English. Due to this, children feel insecure when they try to mingle with locals. For instance, according to a survey by Hindustan Times, 40 percent of Indian Punjabi youth finds themselves isolated In Ontario, Canada because they do not have good command over the English language. To conclude, although initially, youngsters find it difficult to adjust in a new culture once they learn the local language and start mingling with locals they find themselves in much secure position due to various facilities like better education and free medical services along with better job opportunities in future.
Migration for work is a popular trend. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, others,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrate
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future prospects and it is beneficial for their children.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrate
to foreign nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life for their family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrate
from under-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to developed nations. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of these developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
provide free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and medical services to families. To illustrate
further
, Canada provides free medical care and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, once youngsters complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job opportunities than they could have in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
As a result
, youngsters feel more secure and satisfied.

On the other hand
, others believe that migrating to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it harder to adjust to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture. Youngsters need time and friends to adjust to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
society and when they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
friends, they feel isolated and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them become the victim of depression.
Moreover
, a foreign language is another hurdle that they face.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
families who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrate
from Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to Europe are not fluent in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
language like English. Due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel insecure when they try to mingle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
For instance
, according to a survey by Hindustan Times, 40 percent of Indian Punjabi youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finds
themselves isolated In Ontario, Canada
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
command over the English language.

To conclude
, although
initially
, youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it difficult to adjust in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture once they learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
language and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
mingling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
themselves in much secure position due to various facilities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and free medical services along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job opportunities
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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