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Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.21

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 21
Advancements in technology have changed the way we interact with one another. People often debate whether this development has any negative impact on relationships. In my opinion, although technology has some negative aspects, its impact on our lives has been largely positive. The most important benefit of advanced communication tools is that they enable us to receive instant replies from the other person. Earlier, people had to wait for a longer time to get reply from the other person. However, with the advances of technology, an individual can communicate from any corner of the world without any interference or dependency on others. For example, the postman used to take days to deliver messages from sender to receiver because that message had to physically travel from its source to the destination. However, same message could be delivered instantly to the other person through digital applications like WhatsApp and Skype. On the other hand, there is an argument that new age technologies have made people less sociable. They do not interact with their family members or neighbours because they are busy communicating with their virtual friends on Facebook or Twitter. This is certainly an alarming development. Even so, these applications help people to remain in contact with each other even if they are located in faraway places. Using services like Facebook or Instagram, we can keep ourselves updated about the happenings in the lives This is because these platforms provide all the updates about the individual events in life like birthday, hobbies and many others, and these offer an opportunity to the people to interact with one another. By contrast, this was not possible in earlier years, because as a human one cannot remember every aspect of others’ life. Hence, these technologies have brought people closer than before. In conclusion, new communication tools have certainly made people less sociable; however, they also allow us to stay in constant touch with our near and dear ones wherever they may be. In my opinion, if these tools are used responsibly they are a boon to mankind.
Advancements in
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technology
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we interact with one another.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debate whether this development has any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on relationships. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects, its impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
has been
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit of advanced communication tools is that they enable us to receive instant replies from the
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other
person.

Earlier,
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people
had to wait for a longer time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reply from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
person.
However
, with the advances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, an individual can communicate from any corner of the world without any interference or dependency on others.
For example
, the postman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take days to deliver messages from sender to receiver
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that message had to
physically
travel from its source to the destination.
However
, same message could
be delivered
instantly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
person through digital applications like WhatsApp and Skype.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there is an argument that new age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less sociable. They do not interact with their family members or
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are busy communicating with their virtual friends on Facebook or Twitter. This is
certainly
an alarming development. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, these applications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to remain in contact with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
even if they
are located
in faraway places. Using services like Facebook or Instagram, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
ourselves updated about the happenings in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these platforms provide all the updates about the individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in life like birthday, hobbies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, and these offer an opportunity to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact with one another. By contrast, this was not possible in earlier years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as a human one cannot remember every aspect of others’ life.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

In conclusion
, new communication tools have
certainly
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less sociable;
however
, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to stay in constant touch with our near and dear ones wherever they may be. In my opinion, if these tools are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
responsibly
they are a boon to mankind.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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