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Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employees will have much more flexible working hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative development? v.4

Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employees will have much more flexible working hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 4
Due to the advancement of technology, remote working is greatly proliferated in many countries across the world. I, personally, believe it has both positive and negative effects on employees. On the one hand, I agree telecommuting is a positive trend. To elucidate, work remotely allows telecommuters to pursue their hobbies. Since the time spent in the car while commuting to the office can be now used in joining the gym membership or tennis court, which is not possible for the employees who have to work from the office. As a result, telecommuters tend to be more active and healthy. Moreover, it enables employees to save time and money. Since they do not have to commute to the office and avoid traffic. For instance, a survey conducted by BBC News revealed that the majority of telecommuters are able to save 18% of their salary which was spent on transports and lunch. On the other hand, it is also true that working from home can be a negative practice. It prevents employees from receiving high promotions. This is because most telecommuters do not know what is happening in the office and their efforts often get hidden from their employees. Hence, they are less inclined to receive promotions. Furthermore, family distraction might put an employee in a cripple situation because office works require the full attention of the employee along with a peaceful place. All employees do not possess the quality to cope up with family problems and it results in a lack of focus on assignments. For example, the recent study by the Times of India in April 2019 found that 58% of telecommuters are warned by their employer due to paying less attention to projects which stem from family distractions. In conclusion, it seems to me remote working is both positive and negative trends. Since it enables the employees to pursue their hobbies and save money from commuting, it restricts them from getting promotions and less attention can lead to the loss of a job.
Due to the advancement of technology, remote working is
greatly
proliferated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries across the world. I,
personally
, believe it has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on employees.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
telecommuting is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend. To elucidate, work
remotely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
telecommuters to pursue their hobbies. Since the time spent in the car while commuting to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in joining the gym membership or tennis court, which is not possible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
.
As a result
, telecommuters tend to be more active and healthy.
Moreover
, it enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to save time and money. Since they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
commute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
and avoid traffic.
For instance
, a survey conducted by BBC News revealed that the majority of telecommuters are able to save 18% of their salary which
was spent
on transports and lunch.

On the other hand
, it is
also
true that working from home can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
practice. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from receiving high promotions. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most telecommuters do not know what is happening in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
and their efforts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hidden from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Hence
, they are less inclined to receive promotions.
Furthermore
, family distraction might put an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
in a cripple situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
works require the full attention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
along with a peaceful place. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do not possess the quality to cope up with family problems and it results in a lack of focus on assignments.
For example
, the recent study by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
in April 2019 found that 58% of telecommuters
are warned
by their employer due to paying less attention to projects which stem from family distractions.

In conclusion
, it seems to me remote working is both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trends. Since it enables the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to pursue their hobbies and save money from commuting, it restricts them from getting promotions and less attention can lead to the loss of a job.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employees will have much more flexible working hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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