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Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employees will have much more flexible hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative development? v.3

Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employees will have much more flexible hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 3
In the modern workplace, many workers are being given the option to undertake their job from home, thus leading to the managing of one's own time. In my opinion, I believe that this is a positive development. Firstly, this essay will discuss, how being able to work away from the confines of an office can bring positive elements into a worker's life. Secondly, it will discuss the positive impact this may have on a person when no longer involved in the day to day activities happening in the office environment. Firstly, having the option to work from home, can have a positive impact on an employee's schedule. This is especially so if the person has children or other dependants because working long hours is not always possible depending on your lifestyle. Therefore it allows the employee to manage their own schedule while ensuring that they maintain a work-life balance, working from wherever they are in the world. Having flexible working hours means that collecting children from school, spending time travelling and being able to attend non-work related appointments becomes much easier. For example, Google allows senior engineers to work remotely, using flexible hours for those who travel a lot or have the need to work with fewer interruptions. Similarly, employees can develop better mental health when they are removed from the everyday office environment. When working away from the office, the individual may feel like they can work at their own pace, take breaks when needed and deal with less stress. Working for long hours each day in an office environment with co-workers and management can seriously impact a person's mental health, leading to frustration, depression and burnout. For instance, according to an article published in The New York Times in 2016, a survey of people who work online, from home in the state of New York showed that 94% of people said they had developed an overall better health. In conclusion, in my view, there are more positive elements than negative, as there are clear benefits to individuals who have the opportunity to work from home, including having a flexible schedule. However, those working away from the office environment should also manage their work/life balance, so they take care of their mental health.
In the modern workplace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the option to undertake their job from home,
thus
leading to the managing of one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time. In my opinion, I believe that this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
development.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss, how being able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
away from the confines of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
elements into a worker's life.
Secondly
, it will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact this may have on a person when no longer involved in the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities happening in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
environment.

Firstly
, having the option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, can have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on an employee's schedule. This is
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if the person has children or other
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is not always possible depending on your lifestyle.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the employee to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedule while ensuring that they maintain a work-life balance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from wherever they are in the world. Having flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
means that collecting children from school, spending time travelling and being able to attend non-work related appointments becomes much easier.
For example
, Google
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
senior engineers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
remotely
, using flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for those who travel a lot or have the need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with fewer interruptions.

Similarly
, employees can develop better mental health when they
are removed
from the everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
environment. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
, the individual may feel like they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace, take breaks when needed and deal with less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
each day in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
environment with co-workers and management can
seriously
impact a person's mental health, leading to frustration, depression and burnout.
For instance
, according to an article published in The New York Times in 2016, a survey of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
online, from home in the state of New York
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 94% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
said they had developed an
overall
better health.

In conclusion
, in my view, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
elements than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, as there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
benefits to individuals who have the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, including having a flexible schedule.
However
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
environment should
also
manage their work/life balance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they take care of their mental health.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employees will have much more flexible hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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