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Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 5
Today young families do not take care of the old and this causes a living of old people in care homes. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the case and provide a logical conclusion. The two staple positives of living in a nursing home are that the old can get looked after by nurses constantly and they, in turn, can have conversation with who are the same age as them. Firstly, every morning the staff of care home serve a table for breakfast so that elderly people can have breakfast and they are taken out for a walk. Secondly, when they have spare time, they talk about the past, which they went through, with other the old. For example, I remember that when I went to a care home with one of my friend, I saw that many old people were talking to each other with smiling. But there are disadvantages of putting them in a care home, they are which cause a psychological depression of theirs and they may experience emotional disease. A psychological depression may appear due to their families' attitude to them. They think that relatives do not need them anymore. For example, after the old are left in a care home, they are getting taciturn to others. What's more, they may go down with emotional diseases. They can not put up with conditions around them and they will have tendency to cry for a petty things. That is to say that in Europe the old, who are diagnosed with emotional illnesses, make up more than 20% in nursing homes. In conclusion, although there are positives of living in a care home, one can see that few downsides upset elderly people. I have a believe that these drawbacks outweigh the advantages of putting the old in the care homes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
young families do not take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and this causes a living of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the case and provide a logical conclusion. The two staple positives of living in a nursing home are that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
looked after by nurses
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
constantly and
they, in turn, can have conversation with who are the same age as them.
Firstly
, every morning the staff of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home serve a table for breakfast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
breakfast and
they
are taken
out for a walk.
Secondly
, when they have spare time, they talk about the past, which they went through, with other the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
For example
, I remember that when I went to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home with one of my friend, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were talking to each other with smiling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are disadvantages of putting them in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home, they are which cause a psychological depression of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
theirs and
they may experience emotional disease. A psychological depression may appear due to their families' attitude to them. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that relatives do not need them anymore.
For example
, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home, they are getting taciturn to others. What's more, they may go down with emotional diseases. They can not put up with conditions around
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they will have tendency to cry for a petty
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "thing"?
things
.
That is
to say that in Europe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, who
are diagnosed
with emotional illnesses,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up more than 20% in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
In conclusion
, although there are positives of living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that few downsides upset elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I have a
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that these drawbacks outweigh the advantages of putting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
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IELTS academic Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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