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Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v.3

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 3
In this modern age, many folks are moving their seniors to the old age homes rather than taking responsibility for them in the home. Although elders will enjoy the companionship environment and professional care of the nursing homes, they will suffer from the high cost and isolation from the relatives. The two advantages of sending the elders in nursing homes are professional attention and suitable environment. Firstly, these homes offer medical attention to the residents. As many of them have serious health problems, the presence of trained staff for 24 hours a day is a benefit that provides the sense of safety for the patients and their families. Secondly, residents of nursing homes build a community that every member can feel a part of. Taking part in social activities has a positive impact on elderly people's mental health. For example, it allows them to feel needed and appreciated. Clearly, living in the nursing home can be very advantageous for seniors. Despite the benefits, costly and sense of isolation are the major drawbacks which are associated with living in a care home. The main problem is that the living facilities can very costly. Many people cannot afford to pay for care, especially if they do not have plenty of retirement savings. Another disadvantage has increased the feelings of isolation and loneliness. In many cases, living in nursing home leads to reducing contact with family and friends. For instance, people often put their elders in an old age home that are situated a long distance from their houses. As a result, they meet each other less frequently. Overall, living in a senior home gas negative aspects too for consideration. To conclude, putting elderly people in care homes is becoming a trend now. While they experience safety and friendly environment during their stay in care homes, they may feel lonely and difficult to pay the expenses of those homes.
In this modern age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
folks are moving their seniors to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
rather
than taking responsibility for them in the home. Although elders will enjoy the companionship environment and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, they will suffer from the high cost and isolation from the relatives.

The two advantages of sending the elders in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are professional attention and suitable environment.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
offer medical attention to the residents. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them have serious health problems, the presence of trained staff for 24 hours a day is a benefit that provides the sense of safety for the patients and their families.
Secondly
, residents of nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
build a community that every member can feel a part of. Taking part in social activities has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mental health.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to feel needed and appreciated.
Clearly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the nursing home can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advantageous for seniors.

Despite the benefits, costly and sense of isolation are the major drawbacks which
are associated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home. The main problem is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
facilities can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot afford to pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
,
especially
if they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of retirement savings. Another disadvantage has increased the feelings of isolation and loneliness. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in nursing home leads to reducing contact with family and friends.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
put their elders in an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age home that
are situated
a long distance from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each other less
frequently
.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a senior home gas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects too for consideration.

To conclude
, putting elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
is becoming a trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. While they experience safety and friendly environment during their stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, they may feel lonely and difficult to pay the expenses of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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