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many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v.1

many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 1
In recent years the number of elderly people living in care homes has increased significantly. While the care homes have merits such as providing safety and companionship environment for the residents, it has its demerits especially high coast and isolation from the relatives, which sometimes used for illegal matters. This essay will highlight some of the benefits and drawbacks that have resulted from this switch. In terms of the upside, first and foremost, it is definitely the senior citizens will derive great benefits relating to health care from institutional care. Those medical institutions for seniors are often much better equipped to deal with the needs of elderly people than family homes. Second, the staff who work in nursing homes have been professionally trained to manage the demands of the elderly. It is rare for family members possess these skills. For instance, an article has been recently published in CNBS showing a list of devices that must be available in care houses which cost them a big amount of money. In general, Nursing homes much prepared than family homes by devises and staff. Turning to the downside, Elderly people do face some problems in nursing homes. For instance, living in care houses are very costly. But the main issue is that some relatives use these houses to dominate the senior citizens fortune by legal gap, then set themselves as legal guardians. Put their relatives there and lock them down forever. Besides they control over the medicines to make them out of conscious to ensnare their properties. For example, the Netflix documentary Dirty money season two episode five showed that there is over 600 billion dollars are stolen annually in the USA in cooperation with care homes from elderly people. Accordingly, it is highly recommended that laws must be set to protect the aged members. In conclusion, despite the benefits of specially-trained staff and well-equipped facilities the nursing homes can offer the elderly, the drawbacks of taking advantage of their condition should also be taken into consideration.
In recent years the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
has increased
significantly
. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
have merits such as providing safety and companionship environment for the residents, it has its demerits
especially
high coast and isolation from the relatives, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for illegal matters. This essay will highlight
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
benefits and drawbacks that have resulted from this switch.

In terms of the upside,
first
and foremost, it is definitely the senior citizens will derive great benefits relating to health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
from institutional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. Those medical institutions for seniors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
much better equipped to deal with the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. Second, the staff who work in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
have been
professionally
trained to manage the demands of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
. It is rare for family members possess these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, an article has been recently published in
Possible spelling mistake found.
CNBS
showing a list of devices that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
which cost them a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of money.
In general
, Nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
much
Use "(prepared)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
prepared
than family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
by devises and staff.

Turning to the downside,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
For instance
, living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the main issue is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to dominate the senior
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "citizens'" or "citizen's"?
citizens
fortune by legal gap, then set themselves as legal guardians. Put their relatives there and lock them down forever.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
they control over the medicines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them out of conscious to ensnare their properties.
For example
, the Netflix documentary Dirty money
It seems that a comma is missing.
season two episode five
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that there is over 600 billion dollars
are stolen
annually
in the USA in cooperation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Accordingly
, it is
highly
recommended that laws
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be set
to protect the aged members.

In conclusion
, despite the benefits of
specially
-trained staff and well-equipped facilities the nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
can offer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
, the drawbacks of taking advantage of their condition should
also
be taken
into consideration.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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