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Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v.4

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 4
There is a tendency for young people to put their parents or grandparents in care homes or nursing home because they are too busy with their job schedule. This essay will suggest that older people will take care carefully is the biggest advantage of this and elderly people feel lonely is the primary disadvantage. On the one hand, almost young people now often are not able to free time to taking care their parents or grandparents; as a result, care institutions are seen as a convenient place to look after the elderly people. Institutional care brings safety for older adults because when happening any case of emergency will appear immediately doctors and nurses. For instance, older people often forget about taking medicine; therefore, nurses who will remind them about taking medicine on time. Furthermore, we can trust completely in nursing institutions because these places have modern equipment for finding kind of diseases in order to ensure the health of older people. On the other hand, when older people do not live their member of the family, they will feel lonely. Obviously, children who bring happiness to elderly people; therefore, the remote living family can affect mantel physical of older people. To illustrate, many elderly people in nursing homes fell sand because they do not look after by their family member. Another disadvantage, living in nursing homes leads to close-knit family will disappear; nevertheless, older people tend to live in nursing homes; thus, this will reduce contact with family members, such as they meet each other less frequently. In conclusion, care homes and nursing homes are a network of support services in looking after older people. In addition, these places bring a lot of benefit health for aging people; however, this trend impacts the relationship between family members.
There is a tendency for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to put their parents or grandparents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
or nursing home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are too busy with their job schedule. This essay will suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
carefully
is the biggest advantage of this and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel lonely is the primary disadvantage.

On the one hand, almost young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
are not able to free time to taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
their parents or grandparents;
as a result
,
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care
institutions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a convenient place to look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Institutional
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care
brings safety for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when happening any case of emergency will appear immediately doctors and nurses.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forget about taking medicine;
therefore
, nurses who will remind them about taking medicine on time.
Furthermore
, we can trust completely in nursing institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these places have modern equipment for finding kind of diseases in order to ensure the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, when
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older
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people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of the
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family
, they will feel lonely.
Obviously
, children who bring happiness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
therefore
, the remote living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can affect mantel physical of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
fell sand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not look after by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
. Another disadvantage, living in nursing
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homes
leads to close-knit
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family
will disappear;
nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
;
thus
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, such as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each other less
frequently
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are a network of support services in looking after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, these places bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefit health for aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
however
, this trend impacts the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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