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When a town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

When a town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. v. 1
Some individuals argue that the government should prioritize the development of public gardens and sports facilities over that of shopping malls so citizens could spend their spare time in. While this opinion is true in some cases, I am more convinced that shopping complexes are as vital as parks and sports centres in a town. On the one hand, it is justifiable that there are reasons why public parks and sports facilities should be constructed. Firstly, parks and gyms are ideal places for residents to enhance their physical health. For example, people could go jogging or do some light exercises in public gardens in their break time, therefore, they may not only reduce their stress but also improve their physical condition. In addition, a great deal of dwellers decided to be gym Centers' members so as to fit their bodies and maintain healthy and balanced lifestyles. It is obvious that communal parks and sport constructions could impact positively on people's physical health and mental health as well. On the other hand, I'm more firmly of the opinion that shopping centres also play a pivotal role in a town. First of all, shopping complexes provide a vast majority of citizen's demands. It is irrefutable that people greatly depend on shopping centres because it's necessary for them to fill their daily basic needs such as clothes, food, furnitures. Furthermore, there are many entertainment activities that people could enjoy in shopping complexes. As results, coming to shopping malls is also an interesting way that people chose to unwind, so they could combine shopping and relaxing. In conclusion, even though communal parks and sports centres are extremely necessary and essential for city dwellers. I strongly believe that shopping malls should also be built, since they are equally crucial and may provide convenience to town residents.
Some
individuals argue that the
government
should prioritize the development of public gardens and
sports
facilities over that of
shopping
malls
so
citizens could spend their spare time in. While this opinion is true in
some
cases, I am more convinced that
shopping
complexes are as vital as
parks
and
sports
centres
in a town.

On the one hand, it is justifiable that there are reasons why public
parks
and
sports
facilities should
be constructed
.
Firstly
,
parks
and gyms are ideal places for residents to enhance their physical health.
For example
,
people
could go jogging or do
some
light exercises in public gardens in their break time,
therefore
, they may not
only
reduce
their
stress
but
also
improve
their physical condition.
In addition
, a great deal of dwellers decided to be gym Centers' members
so as to
fit their bodies and maintain healthy and balanced lifestyles. It is obvious that communal
parks
and
sport
constructions could impact
positively
on
people
's physical health and mental health
as well
.

On the other hand
, I'm more
firmly
of the opinion that
shopping
centres
also
play a pivotal role in a town.
First of all
,
shopping
complexes provide a vast majority of citizen's demands. It is irrefutable that
people
greatly
depend on
shopping
centres
because
it's necessary for them to fill their daily basic needs such as clothes, food,
furnitures
.
Furthermore
, there are
many
entertainment activities that
people
could enjoy in
shopping
complexes. As results, coming to
shopping
malls is
also
an interesting way that
people
chose to unwind,
so
they could combine
shopping
and relaxing.

In conclusion
,
even though
communal
parks
and
sports
centres
are
extremely
necessary and essential for city dwellers. I
strongly
believe that
shopping
malls should
also
be built
, since they are
equally
crucial and may provide convenience to town residents.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay When a town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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