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Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem? v.4

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem? v. 4
In a recent study, medical practitioners have mentioned that the current lifestyle of people does not include physical workouts. People are more inclined towards the sedentary lifestyle. This issue is of grave concern as a lack of exercise leads to many health issues and needs to be taken care for the healthy living. The main reason for the unhealthy habit is the influence of technology in all aspects of life. The available tech-friendly options have quickly replaced the old ways where physical strength was involved. All new building has provided elevators, which people prefer to take instead of climbing stairs. Similarly, the usage of the car is preferred more in comparison to walking or cycling to work. Another influence of technology is seen in our young generation where children prefer to stay home to play video games rather than getting involved in outdoor activities. This change is leading people towards wrong choices which have an adverse effect in the long term. Raising awareness regarding the subject is essential. The government should implement health awareness campaigns in offices and schools. The offices should make sure staff is attending these workshops. Introducing gym in offices can be another way to ensure staff participating in routine physical exercise. Organising health fairs in the society can be helpful to raise awareness where residents can be registered into health programs which will boost their physical health. In schools, it should be mandatory to complete minimum hours of physical education and activities. The government can also introduce health drives which the public can attend and get the benefit. In conclusion, I believe the healthy lifestyle is vital for long life. It is time that the public is encouraged to include physical exercise in their daily routine.
In a recent study, medical practitioners have mentioned that the
current
lifestyle of
people
does not include
physical
workouts.
People
are more inclined towards the sedentary lifestyle. This issue is of grave concern as a lack of exercise leads to
many
health
issues and needs to
be taken
care for the healthy living.

The main reason for the unhealthy habit is the influence of technology in all aspects of life. The available tech-friendly options have
quickly
replaced the
old
ways where
physical
strength
was involved
. All new building has provided elevators, which
people
prefer to take
instead
of climbing stairs.
Similarly
, the usage of the car
is preferred
more
in comparison
to walking or cycling to work. Another influence of technology is
seen
in our young generation where children prefer to stay home to play video games
rather
than getting involved in outdoor activities.

This
change
is leading
people
towards
wrong
choices which have an adverse effect in the long term. Raising awareness regarding the subject is essential. The
government
should implement
health
awareness campaigns in offices and schools. The offices should
make
sure staff is attending these workshops. Introducing gym in offices can be another way to ensure staff participating in routine
physical
exercise.
Organising
health
fairs in the society can be helpful to raise awareness where residents can
be registered
into
health
programs which will boost their
physical
health
. In schools, it should be mandatory to complete minimum hours of
physical
education and activities. The
government
can
also
introduce
health
drives which the public can attend and
get
the benefit.

In conclusion
, I believe the healthy lifestyle is vital for long life. It is time that the public
is encouraged
to include
physical
exercise in their daily routine.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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