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Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem? v.3

Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem? v. 3
Belong to many health officials' considerations a great number of people are less carnal dynamic than they used to. With an improving technology, the inactivity of the population also increases, the causes and solutions for this are outlined in the essay. There are many reasons why people become the lazy customer. The key factor may be the development of mechanism encourages individuals to reduce movement in their social heart. Because figures can do almost every household chores via push one bottom. One clear example is domestic gadgets such as washing-machines, the air-conditioner which might be catting-edge appliances in ordinary area. Admittedly, the people's cessation evils caused by the up-to-date soul which are based on technology, having said that government should inspire citizens to be much more energetic people by coordinating various kinds of sport competitions and it would be alternative resolution to avoid some issues which is related to the character's social living. Another paramount deduce would be people's work heart that in the modern world a huge range of people have already accustomed to a sedentary lifestyle, as well as, manual works might be an unnecessary type of job, resulting in a reduction in the demands for physical activities. Yet, by organizing sporting time at work to do diversion trainings, employers can also motivate their employees to be operative somebody. All things considered, as an every cloud has a silver lining, this essential problem may resolve when the authority and entrepreneurs arrange different sportive groups and contests.
Belong to
many
health officials' considerations a great number of
people
are less carnal dynamic than they
used
to. With an improving technology, the inactivity of the population
also
increases, the causes and solutions for this
are outlined
in the essay.

There are
many
reasons why
people
become the lazy customer. The key factor may be the development of mechanism encourages individuals to
reduce
movement in their social heart.
Because
figures can do almost every household chores via push one bottom. One
clear
example is domestic gadgets such as washing-machines, the air-conditioner which might be catting-edge appliances in ordinary area.
Admittedly
, the
people
's cessation evils caused by the up-to-date soul which
are based
on technology, having said that
government
should inspire citizens to be much more energetic
people
by coordinating various kinds of sport competitions and it would be alternative resolution to avoid
some
issues which
is related
to the character's social living.

Another paramount deduce would be
people
's work heart that in the modern world a huge range of
people
have already accustomed to a sedentary lifestyle,
as well
as, manual works might be an unnecessary type of job, resulting in a reduction in the demands for physical activities.
Yet
, by organizing sporting time at work to do diversion trainings, employers can
also
motivate their employees to be operative somebody.

All things considered, as an every cloud has a silver lining, this essential problem may resolve when the authority and entrepreneurs arrange
different
sportive groups and contests.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS essay Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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