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Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are to this problem? v.1

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are to this problem? v. 1
Physical training is one of the most beneficial activities to people. It has been noticed that individuals do not involve in enough fitness exercises. This essay will further discuss the lack of time and individual’s economic status as main causes of this phenomenon, then it will introduce both of designated work out sessions and raising awareness as applicable solutions to mitigate this issue. To begin with, people’s busy lifestyle negatively affects their health; they could not allot a specific weekly schedule to fitness sessions. To illustrate, the average of working hours in developed countries, such as the United State, is about 8 hours per day which affects citizens’ daily routine. This prevents them to do a wide variety of activities. In addition to that, the economic recession is an obvious contributing factor in canceling a myriad number of gem memberships. That is to say, individuals might choose to save these fees to meet their needs due to prices increasing all over the world. Consequently, tight schedules and citizens’ economic situations negatively affect people’s activities in daily basis which make them disregard physical exercises. On the other hand, two possible measures can be taken to resolve this increasing issue. First, regular physical classes could assist people to enhance their physical skills. To clarify, strike to a regular training plan positively motivates them to attend keep-to-fit classes and maintain their health. Second, government should intervene to raise its citizens’ awareness about advantageous influences of practicing exercises. This likely attracts individual’s attention to the importance of these activities. For example, many affluent countries, such as the Netherlands, provide its people with an adequate health information and public facilities, namely cycle lanes and clubs to encourage them doing exercises. Hence, if all the above measures were taken, the troubles would be by no means insurmountable. In conclusion, having analyzed people’s ignorance of doing enough physical exercises, it can be supposed that their tight schedules and economic conditions are the culpable causes. However, planning weekly gem sessions and improving people awareness could motivate them to do enough physical activities and alleviate this trouble.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
training is one of the most beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It has
been noticed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
do not involve in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. This essay will
further
discuss the lack of time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
status as main causes of this phenomenon, then it will introduce both of designated work out sessions and raising awareness as applicable solutions to mitigate this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
busy lifestyle
negatively
affects their health; they could not allot a specific weekly schedule to fitness sessions. To illustrate, the average of working hours in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, such as the United State, is about 8 hours per day which affects citizens’ daily routine. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them to do a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
In addition
to that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
recession is an obvious contributing factor in canceling a myriad number of gem memberships.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
might choose to save these fees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs due to prices increasing all over the world.
Consequently
, tight schedules and citizens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
situations
negatively
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in daily basis which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them disregard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercises.

On the other hand
, two possible measures can
be taken
to resolve this increasing issue.
First
, regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
classes could assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To clarify, strike to a regular training plan
positively
motivates them to attend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
-to-fit classes and maintain their health. Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should intervene to raise its citizens’ awareness about advantageous influences of practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. This likely attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
attention to the importance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
affluent countries, such as the Netherlands, provide its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with an adequate health information and public facilities,
namely
cycle lanes and clubs to encourage them doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
.
Hence
, if all the above measures
were taken
, the troubles would be by no means insurmountable.

In conclusion
, having analyzed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
ignorance of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
, it can
be supposed
that their tight schedules and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
conditions are the culpable causes.
However
, planning weekly gem sessions and improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
awareness could motivate them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and alleviate this trouble.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are to this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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