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Many doctors say that people in today s world do not do enough physical exercise What do you think are the causes of this What solutions are there to this problem v.1

Many doctors say that people in today s world do not do enough physical exercise What do you think are the causes of this What solutions are there to this problem v. 1
Pollution from factories and construction results in the contamination of air and water, which is mainly problematic in third world countries. There are a number of solutions which should be implemented to deal with the poor quality of air and water. Firstly, important reasons which contribute to air pollution include the carbon dioxide emissions released through burning fossil fuels in industries, the use of toxic material, and the high levels of dust generated via construction. This produces major problems, including the greenhouse effect, and ozone depletion that increases UV exposure causing health issues, such as skin cancer. Secondly, water pollution is a direct effect of the dumping of industrial waste and harmful substances in various water bodies. This induces severe health problems, which includes infection from water-borne diseases and kidney failure. Ergo, air and water contamination give rise to long term consequences to the environment and human health which have to be dealt with seriously. There are a few effective solutions to the low quality of air and water. A couple of ways to tackle the air pollution problem is for industries to switch from fossil fuels to natural gases, and for construction companies to use environment-friendly materials; therefore, this will dramatically reduce the harmful emissions of carbon dioxide and other pollutants. Water pollution can be prevented if industries and construction companies stop dumping their waste in water bodies; instead, they should use appropriate and safe methods to get rid of their toxic substances. Also, an improved filtration system should be introduced to purify the water. Hence, this will prevent a plethora of diseases and allow people to drink clean water. In conclusion, placing and following proper guidelines to help factories and construction companies operate safely will prevent critical consequences of water and air contamination from occurring.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pollution
from factories and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
results in the contamination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, which is
mainly
problematic in third world countries. There are a number of solutions which should
be implemented
to deal with the poor quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and water.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons which contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
include the carbon dioxide emissions released through burning fossil fuels in industries, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of toxic material, and the high levels of dust generated via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
. This produces major problems, including the greenhouse effect, and ozone depletion that increases UV exposure causing health issues, such as skin cancer.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is a direct effect of the dumping of industrial waste and harmful substances in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
bodies. This induces severe health problems, which includes infection from water-borne diseases and kidney failure. Ergo,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contamination give rise to long term
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
the environment and human health which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be dealt
with
seriously
.

There are a few effective solutions to the low quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. A couple of ways to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
problem is for industries to switch from fossil fuels to natural gases, and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
environment-friendly materials;
therefore
, this will
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the harmful emissions of carbon dioxide and other pollutants.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
if industries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
dumping their waste in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
bodies;
instead
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
appropriate and safe methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of their toxic substances.
Also
, an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
filtration system should
be introduced
to purify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Hence
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
a plethora of diseases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to drink clean water.

In conclusion
, placing and following proper guidelines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
factories and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
operate
safely
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
critical consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
contamination from occurring.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many doctors say that people in today s world do not do enough physical exercise What do you think are the causes of this What solutions are there to this problem v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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