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Many developing countries require aid from international organisations to develop. Many people think that this aid should be financial, while others think that practical aid and advice are more useful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Many developing countries require aid from international organisations to develop. Many people think that this aid should be financial, while others think that practical aid and advice are more useful. v. 1
Some people believe that multinational companies should provide financial assistance to underdeveloped nations to help them thrive, other people argue that consultation would be more beneficial to those countries. Personally, I strongly agree that assistance in the form of advice would outperform the monetary aid. Advocates of the financial side believe that large sums of money may help impoverished countries to address a number of social issues and help to build their countries. First, this money will accommodate the basic needs of their citizens such as money, food, and water, addressing social problems such as poverty, hunger, and water shortage. Second, with a sustainable supply of money, ordinary people would have no reason to commit social crimes such as thief or robbing; hence, the quality of life is dramatically improved. Lastly, by spending the budget received from those companies on enhancing the infrastructure of roads and public facilities like hospital or community centers, the lives of their citizens will be more satisfactory. On the other hand, supporters of the advice would argue that consultation and practical advice are conducive to the long-term development of poverty-stricken nations. In fact, there are some countries which are disoriented in terms of their development plans. Therefore, it would help the governments of those countries to become clear about their plans, leading to proper execution. In my opinion, it is likely that financial assistance may fall into the hands of corrupt politicians who will use the money to serve their own purposes and interests, so giving suggestions is an optimal option. For instance, a notoriously infamous Vietnamese politician, Nguyen Van A, keeping millions of dollars received from Microsoft to support poor families in remote areas for his private use, got caught and sentenced to life imprisonment. In conclusion, while there are clear benefits of either financial aid or advice, I hold a view that the advice solution would have an even greater impact on needy countries in reality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
assistance to underdeveloped nations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them thrive, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that consultation would be more beneficial to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Personally
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that assistance in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
would outperform the monetary aid.

Advocates of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
side believe that large sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to address a number of social issues and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to build their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
First
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will accommodate the basic needs of their citizens such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, food, and water, addressing social problems such as poverty, hunger, and water shortage. Second, with a sustainable supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would have no reason to commit social crimes such as thief or robbing;
hence
, the quality of life is
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Lastly
, by spending the budget received from those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
on enhancing the infrastructure of roads and public facilities like hospital or community centers, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of their citizens will be more satisfactory.

On the other hand
, supporters of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
would argue that consultation and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
are conducive to the long-term development of poverty-stricken nations. In fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which
are disoriented
in terms of their development plans.
Therefore
, it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
about their plans, leading to proper execution. In my opinion, it is likely that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
assistance may fall into the hands of corrupt politicians who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to serve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purposes and interests,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
giving suggestions is an optimal option.
For instance
, a
notoriously
infamous Vietnamese politician, Nguyen Van A, keeping millions of dollars received from Microsoft to support poor families in remote areas for his private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
caught and sentenced to life imprisonment.

In conclusion
, while there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
benefits of either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
, I hold a view that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
solution would have an even greater impact on needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in reality.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS essay Many developing countries require aid from international organisations to develop. Many people think that this aid should be financial, while others think that practical aid and advice are more useful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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