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Developing countries require international organization’s help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better. Discuss both view and give your own opinion. v.2

Developing countries require international organization’s help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better. v. 2
Recently the phenomenon has much concern that third world countries needed financial support from the international institution while others believe possible service are better choices. The following paragraph below would explain the reason to support my view that financial aid is essential to support underdeveloped nations and increasing people’s welfare. It is interesting to know that people in developing countries need strategic advice from experts to enhance their knowledge and skills. Practical aid programs such as immunizations, water and hygiene, developing medical and education centre is required to solve the current problems. Therefore, corruption is the most relevant issue that many developing countries encounter. It would be helpful if they have some practical assistance from the professional mentor to boost their economy, for instance, helping the government make state policies. On the other hand, getting loans from the World Bank could help developing nations by providing money. The government could supply the funds to build the school, pay for the teachers, and make education compulsory for all children. Thus, they could contribute positively to society in the future. Besides, people with a qualification are more likely to find work and better prospects. Furthermore, the development of public facilities and infrastructure such as roads and bridges could improve the quality of life of citizens better and increase tourism in the country and bring in income for local residents so that the economy can be lifted. To conclude, financial backing is more beneficial to emerging nations, whereas practical aid and consultation have some advantages in developing nations.
Recently the phenomenon has much concern that third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
needed financial support from the international institution while others believe possible service are better choices. The following paragraph below would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason to support my view that financial aid is essential to support underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s welfare.

It is interesting to know that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need strategic advice from experts to enhance their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Practical aid programs such as immunizations, water and hygiene,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
medical and education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is required
to solve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
problems.
Therefore
, corruption is the most relevant issue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
encounter. It would be helpful if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical assistance from the professional mentor to boost their economy,
for instance
, helping the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
state policies.

On the other hand
, getting loans from the World Bank could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to develop" or "develop".
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
by providing money. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could supply the funds to build the school, pay for the teachers, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
education compulsory for all children.
Thus
, they could contribute
positively
to society in the future.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a qualification are more likely to find work and better prospects.
Furthermore
, the development of public facilities and infrastructure such as roads and bridges could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life of citizens better and increase tourism in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and bring in income for local residents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the economy can
be lifted
.

To conclude
, financial backing is more beneficial to emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, whereas practical aid and consultation have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Developing countries require international organization’s help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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