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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v.2

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v. 2
Many prisoners re-offend after they are let out of jail. This essay will discuss that the main causes of committing a crime again are lack of proper rehabilitation facilities in the prison and not being able to find a job after getting released. This essay will also suggest solutions to solve this issue, including community services for these lawbreakers and making them skilful enough to get a job. Involving in criminal activities as soon as getting released from prison is the result of insufficient rehabilitation facilities and unemployment. When people have to stay behind closed bars with criminals who have committed dangerous crimes in the past, their mental conditions deteriorate. Also, in most of the prisons, there are very few rehabilitation facilities which make these offenders unprepared to face the outside world after getting released from jail. Moreover, becoming unemployed after getting released is another main reason why these people re-offend. Having very limited opportunities for skill development, these criminals, after spending a long period inside closed bars, are unable to find a job to feed their families, which lead them to commit further crime. For example, a document published by the BBC showed that 25% of criminal activities are caused by people released from prison because they were unable to look after their dependents. Involving lawbreakers in community services is critical to tackling this issue. The culprits often need time and support to recover from their bad experiences, and community service can help them in this matter. Social services can help the culprits to give something back to society, and it will be beneficial for their mental development. For example, in Finland, criminals must involve in some sort of community service, and as a result, the re-offending rate has almost reduced to zero. In conclusion, owing to insufficient rehabilitation services and unemployment, most criminals commit crime again and again. However, it can be solved by involving these defendants in community and social services, as well as making them prepared to face the world outside the closed bars.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
prisoners re-offend after they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
out of jail. This essay will discuss that the main causes of committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again are lack of proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
facilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and not being able to find a job after getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
. This essay will
also
suggest solutions to solve this issue, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for these lawbreakers and making them
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.

Involving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is the result of insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
facilities and unemployment. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay behind closed bars with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who have committed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the past, their mental conditions deteriorate.
Also
, in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
facilities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these offenders unprepared to face the outside world after getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
from jail.
Moreover
, becoming unemployed after getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
is another main reason why these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
re-offend. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, after spending a long period inside closed bars, are unable to find a job to feed their families, which lead them to commit
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For example
, a document published by the BBC
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 25% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities
are caused
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were unable to look after their dependents.

Involving lawbreakers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is critical to tackling this issue. The culprits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
need time and support to recover from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experiences, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in this matter. Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the culprits to give something back to society, and it will be beneficial for their mental development.
For example
, in Finland,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
involve in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, and
as a result
, the re-offending rate has almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to zero.

In conclusion
, owing to insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and unemployment, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again and again.
However
, it can
be solved
by involving these defendants in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
as well
as making them prepared to face the world outside the closed bars.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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