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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from Prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v.1

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from Prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v. 1
In the sophisticated era, it is true that criminals engage them in criminal activities after discharging from the jails. There are myriad reasons behind this problem. This essay will discuss it's both reasons and some solution in order to mitigate and deter them from illegal activities. To begin with, unemployment is one of the biggest reasons behind their illegal activities. When a prisoner's discharge from the jails and in order to earn livelihood, they search job, but they may refuse by the employer to recruit them due to their previous criminal record. They may find themselves inadequate. They may find another way to earn money and reunite with old criminals and start to do illegal activities. For instance, a recent survey showed that 30% of people were engaged in crimes again after returning from the prison due to unemployment. Hence, unemployment is a cause which enforces the criminals to continue crimes. However, there are some steps which should be taken by the authorities and individuals. Firstly, the government should provide a facility of rehabilitation programs in the jails in order to correct their disturbing thoughts. To cite an example, in Norway women's jail, on the weekly basis they have to consult with a psychologist. This help to the criminals to stop crimes and control their anger. Also, individuals should respect them when they return from the jails instead of disrespect to them and provide them a friendly ambiance. So that, they never engage themselves in these activities. Massed should motivate them if the criminals want to work rather then crimes. Thus, through these steps mentioned problem can be reduced. To recapitulate, there are some reasons by which criminals are never rejected illegal activities, but there are many measures by which their unwanted illegal can be stopped.
In the sophisticated era, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
engage them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
after discharging from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
. There are myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this problem. This essay will discuss it's both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution in order to mitigate and deter them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
activities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, unemployment is one of the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. When a prisoner's discharge from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
and in order to earn livelihood, they search job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they may refuse by the employer to recruit them due to their previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
record. They may find themselves inadequate. They may find another way to earn money and reunite with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For instance
, a recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 30% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were engaged
in crimes again after returning from the prison due to unemployment.
Hence
, unemployment is a cause which enforces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to continue crimes.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps which should
be taken
by the authorities and individuals.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide a facility of rehabilitation programs in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
in order to correct their disturbing thoughts. To cite an example, in Norway women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
, on the weekly basis they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consult with a psychologist. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
crimes and control their anger.
Also
, individuals should respect them when they return from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
instead
of disrespect to them and provide them a friendly ambiance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, they never engage themselves in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Massed should motivate them if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
want to work
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
crimes.
Thus
, through these steps mentioned problem can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

To recapitulate, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are never rejected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measures by which their unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from Prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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