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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v.1

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v. 1
Criminal attitude is one of the most dangerous and unpredictable nature of any individual. Criminals are often subjected to prisonment during their sentenced period to bring in a positive change within themselves. However, it is not necessary that the impact stays on forever. In most of the cases, it is proven that the criminals continue to engage in unlawful activities after their punishment period. The following essay takes a look at the possible factors that provoke them and potential solutions. First and foremost, we can focus on the reason behind committing the offence in the past which helps us predict the consequences. For instance, a person who commits a murder because of personal reasons might still hold the grudge that constantly evokes the individual. Secondly, once they come out of the prison, there should be a motivation to lead their life ahead. They should be given an employment opportunity through which they can sustain themselves. Likewise, Lack of money and economic factors can also be considerable reasons that encourage such illegal activities. It is worth considering the social and moral values, which ideally shape the character of the person, need to be enlightened to at responsibly in the society. On the other hand, provided these are the causes, there can be solutions which can control the detrimental behaviour. A newly released culprit must be under a secret supervision by the police authorities unless it is assured that he is leading an accountable life. Alternatively, Government should tighten the rules and punishments for those who tend to repeat the activity after they are set free. A motive should be created which can inspire these individuals to achieve something in life and government should support them financially and morally which keep them away from the savage thoughts. In summary, we cannot completely bring in a change in the character of the person, but taking certain measures can prevent this from happening to an extent which eventually results in a considerable change.
Criminal attitude is one of the most
dangerous
and unpredictable nature of any individual. Criminals are
often
subjected to
prisonment
during their sentenced period to bring in a
positive
change
within themselves.
However
, it is not necessary that the impact stays on forever. In most of the cases, it
is proven
that the criminals continue to engage in unlawful activities after their punishment period. The following essay takes a look at the possible factors that provoke them and potential solutions.

First
and foremost, we can focus on the reason behind committing the
offence
in the past which
helps
us predict the consequences.
For instance
, a person who commits a murder
because
of personal reasons might
still
hold the grudge that
constantly
evokes the individual.
Secondly
, once they
come
out of the prison, there should be a motivation to lead their life ahead. They should be
given
an employment opportunity through which they can sustain themselves.
Likewise
, Lack of money and economic factors can
also
be considerable reasons that encourage such illegal activities. It is worth considering the social and moral values, which
ideally
shape the character of the person, need to
be enlightened
to at
responsibly
in the society.

On the other hand
, provided these are the causes, there can be solutions which can control the detrimental
behaviour
. A
newly
released culprit
must
be under a secret supervision by the police authorities unless it
is assured
that he is leading an accountable life.
Alternatively
,
Government
should tighten the
rules
and punishments for those who tend to repeat the activity after they
are set
free. A motive should
be created
which can inspire these individuals to achieve something in life and
government
should support them
financially
and
morally
which
keep
them away from the savage thoughts.

In summary, we cannot completely bring in a
change
in the character of the person,
but
taking certain measures can
prevent
this from happening to an extent which
eventually
results in a considerable
change
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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