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Many criminals commit further crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v.2

Many criminals commit further crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v. 2
Crime is like cancer in the modern days. It has been observed that most of criminals again indulge in unlawful acts after getting out of prison. I think that it could be because of both self-desire and difficulties to adjust to normal life. To reduce this trend, both the government and individuals need to step in. Unemployment is one of the major causes of the issue. Most of the employers refuse to give a job to anyone with a criminal record. Therefore, they face great difficulties to earn livelihood like other people. On the other hand, they find it easier to earn money by performing offensive acts, reuniting with the criminal groups etc. A recent survey shows around 30% of the hijackings were done by criminals who had already served their time in jail in the past. To resolve this, the government should create job opportunities for them, once they have served their terms. The administration should also set up effective rehabilitation programmes while they are in jail. The sessions with the psychologist can be set up once or twice a week, which will help them in dealing with the negative and violent thoughts. For example, Norway's women's prison has done this exercise since 2015 and they are starting to see the results. In addition, on the individual level, we should try to be more supportive of them. When they try to start a new life with no unlawful act, if we just can be normal and a bit ignorant about their previous activities at work, then we can see a lot of differences. To conclude, unemployment is one of the major reasons for the offenders to trace back to their previous path. Both the government and individuals should try to create a supportive environment to help them live a crime free life.
Crime is like cancer in the modern days. It has
been observed
that most of
criminals
again indulge in unlawful acts after getting out of prison. I
think
that it could be
because
of both self-desire and difficulties to adjust to normal life. To
reduce
this trend, both the
government
and individuals need to step in.

Unemployment is one of the major causes of the issue. Most of the employers refuse to give a job to anyone with a
criminal
record.
Therefore
, they face great difficulties to earn livelihood like other
people
.
On the other hand
, they find it easier to earn money by performing offensive acts, reuniting with the
criminal
groups etc. A recent survey
shows
around 30% of the hijackings
were done
by
criminals
who had already served their time in jail in the past.

To resolve this, the
government
should create job opportunities for them, once they have served their terms. The administration should
also
set up effective rehabilitation
programmes
while they are in jail. The sessions with the psychologist can
be set
up once or twice a week, which will
help
them in dealing with the
negative
and violent thoughts.
For example
, Norway's women's prison has done this exercise since
2015 and
they are starting to
see
the results.
In addition
, on the individual level, we should try to be more supportive of them. When they try to
start
a new life with no unlawful act, if we
just
can be normal and a bit ignorant about their previous activities at work, then we can
see
a lot of
differences.

To conclude
, unemployment is one of the major reasons for the offenders to trace back to their previous path. Both the
government
and individuals should try to create a supportive environment to
help
them
live
a crime free life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many criminals commit further crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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