Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem? v.2

Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem? v. 2
Repetition of crimes by punished criminals is a major concern, especially in these days all over the world. There are various socioeconomic and personal factors behind the scene. Both government and social workers can take many valuable steps to resolve this issue. Firstly, once a criminal get punishment, the social acceptance of that individual, after the jail term, is a remote possibility in many cultural settings. This may attribute the ex-offender to do the crime again. To be more precise, ex-prisoners usually struggle to stand on their own feet. Society would not offer an employment to them, even though they are well-informed and proactive. Besides, social states will not let many people share their work with ex-detainees. At this juncture, most of them do crimes like theft and burglary to survive. Criminal are made not born. The Government can play a pivotal role to resolve this issue. Special resettlement programmes for punished individual, financial aids and grants for self-employment program are few of them. A helping hand from the governing authority immensely assists settlements of ex-prisoners. Secondly, inborn psychic problems drive people to reiterate the crimes. In other words, some psychological problems such as Kleptomania and similar disorders force people to breach the law. This problem can be effectively tackled by scientific counselling and proper medical care. Though this is a tough nut to crack, combined efforts of social workers and psychiatrists make it  a piece of cake. To put it in a nutshell, though society and some personal problems force people to break the law repeatedly, Joint efforts of society and professional bodies, especially Doctors and Social workers, are enough to tackle these issues effectively.
Repetition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by punished criminals is a major concern,
especially
in these days all over the world. There are various socioeconomic and personal factors behind the scene. Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
workers can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
valuable steps to resolve this issue.

Firstly
, once a criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
punishment, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
acceptance of that individual, after the jail term, is a remote possibility in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultural settings. This may attribute the ex-offender to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again. To be more precise, ex-prisoners
usually
struggle to stand on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
feet. Society would not offer an employment to them,
even though
they are well-informed and proactive.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
states will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share their work with ex-detainees. At this juncture, most of them do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like theft and burglary to survive. Criminal
are made
not born. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can play a pivotal role to resolve this issue. Special resettlement
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for punished individual, financial aids and grants for self-employment program are few of them. A helping hand from the governing authority
immensely
assists settlements of ex-prisoners.

Secondly
, inborn psychic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to reiterate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as Kleptomania and similar disorders force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to breach the law. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can be
effectively
tackled by scientific counselling and proper medical care. Though this is a tough nut to crack, combined efforts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
workers and psychiatrists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
a piece of cake.

To put it in a nutshell, though society and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to break the law
repeatedly
, Joint efforts of society and professional bodies,
especially
Doctors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
workers, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to tackle these issues
effectively
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts