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Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. v.6

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. v. 6
Nowadays, most people go to college and university to study a field they might like in order to have a good and enjoyable job. However, money is still an important factor in a job selection, and several people argue that earning money is more important than an enjoyable job. On the one hand, it is true that in a way, money leads to a better life quality. With more money we can, for instance, consume more, buy good quality products, go on holidays and do numerous activities. All these things contribute to a more enjoyable life. Even though the job we do does not completely satisfy us, all the other moments apart from our job time will be filled with exciting things. The purpose is to reach well-being and to some extent happiness and money is a way to do it. On the other hand, although money is a way to reach happiness, it may be not enough. It is not by chance that nowadays people are seeking a job that fit their interests. It is a tendency that increases more and more in western countries. For example, universities provide a wider range of topics and programs every year in order to
Nowadays, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to college and university to study a field they might like in order to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
still
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
selection, and several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than an enjoyable job.

On the one hand, it is true that in a way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
leads to a better life quality. With more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
we can,
for instance
, consume more,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality products, go on holidays and do numerous activities. All these things contribute to a more enjoyable life.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
we do does not completely satisfy us, all the other moments apart from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
time will
be filled
with exciting things. The purpose is to reach well-being and to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent happiness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a way to do it.

On the other hand
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a way to reach happiness, it may be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. It is not by chance that nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are seeking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that fit their interests. It is a tendency that increases more and more in western countries.
For example
, universities provide a wider range of topics and programs every year in order
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. v. 6

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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