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Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. v. 1
In the current scenario, The management of technology is constantly on the rise. For instance, social website like Facebook, WhatsApp, Linkedin, etc. Which has had a negative impact on one's individuality as well as on Society. I support this statement which states that social site had a false impact on people. Analysing the advantages and limitations of a networking site will prove this. To commence with, there are several reasons to Support the fact. Firstly, the usage of socializing apps such as Facebook, tinder, WhatsApp, Linkedin, etc. Are one of the reasons for communication gap between families. For instance, In the past, people had time to spend with their parents while in the due to the foundation of apps Large number had become obsessed with these apps, especially the teenagers. Moreover, laziness is one of a negative impact of networking website, loneliness, depression, etc. Therefore, due these new technologies it is common to see parents spending more time with their cell phone then with their children. On the other hand, despite all these disadvantages It has its own advantages such as finding new people, awareness about the things that are happening around your surroundings, getting Location for trying new foods and so on. For instance, with the help of these technologies it is easy to find childhood friends, learning about new things, communication with people who are far away from you. In the end the social website has its positive and negative effect which can be minimized by taking certain measures. For example, Keeping a time limit on using these apps, Taking part in extracurricular activities, giving equal importance to family members and social sites. Hence, it is common for people to maintain a balance by managing the use of socializing apps. In the end, I would like Conclude by saying that spending more hours on socializing sites will lead to laziness, loneliness, depression etc. Therefore, it is necessary for people to maintain balance in the management of technologies.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, The management of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
constantly
on the rise.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
website like Facebook, WhatsApp,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linkedin
, etc. Which has had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on one's individuality
as well
as on Society. I support this statement which states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
had a false impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the advantages and limitations of a networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
will prove this.

To commence with, there are several reasons to Support the fact.
Firstly
, the usage of socializing apps such as Facebook, tinder, WhatsApp,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linkedin
, etc. Are one of the reasons for communication gap between families.
For instance
, In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had time to spend with their parents while in the due to the foundation of apps Large number had become obsessed with these apps,
especially
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Moreover
, laziness is one of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of networking website, loneliness, depression, etc.
Therefore
, due these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
it is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
parents spending more time with their cell phone then with their children.

On the other hand
, despite all these disadvantages It has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages such as finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, awareness about the things that are happening around your surroundings, getting Location for trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
foods and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
it is easy to find childhood friends, learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things, communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are far away from you. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
website has its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect which can
be minimized
by taking certain measures.
For example
, Keeping a time limit on using these apps, Taking part in extracurricular activities, giving equal importance to family members and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
Hence
, it is common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to maintain a balance by managing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of socializing apps.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I would like Conclude by saying that spending more hours on socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
will lead to laziness, loneliness, depression etc.
Therefore
, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to maintain balance in the management of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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