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Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. v. 3
It is one of the fads that many countries nowadays pour more funds in art. Such a trend has led to two opposite views; some people opine that the money spent in art is necessary, while others dispute that the government funds should be invested on public services and facilities. In my view, the government should invest a reasonable proportion of the financial income in art, and thereby improving people' s mental wellbeing, but the improvement of public services and facilities shall never be overlooked. People who are in favour of investing funds in art might contend that art is an effective way to restore people' s energy. In the past several decades, more art museums and theatres have been built using the government funds. These places have offered the public more chances to relax themselves from the work. If people work continuously without attending some recreational activities, such as visiting art museums or watching operas, they may be less productive towards their work. In contrast, after relaxing themselves in the art world, many people can recover their energy to work more effectively. On the contrary, others argue that the government should spend money on public services and facilities instead of art. They may think that citizens can reap more benefits from public services and facilities. For example, with more money spent in progressing education and medical system, students can receive better education to improve employability and patients have more chances to survive from severe diseases. Also, businessmen can discover more business opportunities if more roads and communication facilities are constructed. From my point of view, the government does need to invest a fair amount of money in art. The artistic facilities like museums and cinemas attract more people to experience and enjoy artworks, and thereby bringing happiness to their lives. However, the major focus of the government is always to provide the public with more comprehensive public services and reliable facilities, as this is the fundamental obligation of a government.
It is one of the fads that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries nowadays pour more funds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. Such a trend has led to two opposite views;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is necessary, while others dispute that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds should
be invested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and facilities. In my view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest a reasonable proportion of the financial income in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, and thereby improving
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s mental
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and facilities shall never
be overlooked
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of investing funds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
might contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an effective way to restore
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s energy. In the past several decades, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
museums and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
have
been built
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds. These places have offered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
more chances to relax themselves from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
continuously
without attending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recreational activities, such as visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
museums or watching operas, they may be less productive towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
In contrast
, after relaxing themselves in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can recover their energy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
effectively
.

On the contrary
, others argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and facilities
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that citizens can reap more benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and facilities.
For example
, with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent in progressing education and medical system, students can receive better education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
employability and patients have more chances to survive from severe diseases.
Also
, businessmen can discover more business opportunities if more roads and communication facilities
are constructed
.

From my point of view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does need to invest a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. The artistic facilities like museums and cinemas attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to experience and enjoy artworks, and thereby bringing happiness to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, the major focus of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is always to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
with more comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and reliable facilities, as this is the fundamental obligation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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