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Essay topics: Many countries spend a lot of money in the arts. Some people think investment in the arts is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Essay topics: Many countries spend a lot of money in the arts. Some people think investment in the arts is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. v. 2
A school of people believe that the arts is worthy of a large amount of government grants, while the opposed argue that common services and infrastructures deserve more of them. Personally, I reckon that we should give top priority to the latter, especially when administrations have a limited budget. The supporters claim that art funds are of great significance to both ordinary beings and artists. Firstly, these capitals are conducive in cultivating artists. With financial support from the state, they might be less troubled with survival but more devoted to increasing expertise and creating high-quality artworks. Secondly, average people are likely to enhance artistic attainment and aesthetic temperament due to these funds. If more arts institutions (such as museums, art galleries, exhibition halls etc. ) are established and refurbished, individuals maybe exposed to arts appreciation and training more often. Despite this, others argue that governments should put more capitals into public welfare systems. It is public investment that satisfies essential living demands of citizens. For example, improving mass transportation, such as underground railways, highways and train rails, facilitates daily commuting and long-distance traveling. In contrast, arts investment does not necessarily benefit general public in the terms of personal wellbeing. In conclusion, it is true that investing the arts has countless merits, but I observed that improvement in public facilities is more beneficial to economic advancement and fiscal revenue growth, therefore it should be attached with greater importance. With well-equipped infrastructures, cities can widely attract investments, thereby increasing local wealth. By comparison, arts investment will not yield such instant and tangible returns.
A school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is worthy of a large amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grants, while the opposed argue that common services and infrastructures deserve more of them.
Personally
, I reckon that we should give top priority to the latter,
especially
when administrations have a limited budget.

The supporters claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
funds are of great significance to both ordinary beings and artists.
Firstly
, these capitals are conducive in cultivating artists. With financial support from the state, they might be less troubled with survival
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more devoted to increasing expertise and creating high-quality artworks.
Secondly
, average
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are likely to enhance artistic attainment and aesthetic temperament due to these funds. If more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
institutions (such as museums,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries, exhibition halls etc.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
are established
and refurbished, individuals maybe exposed to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "art".
arts
appreciation and training more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

Despite this, others argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should put more capitals into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
welfare systems. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
that satisfies essential living demands of citizens.
For example
, improving mass transportation, such as underground railways, highways and train rails, facilitates daily commuting and long-distance traveling.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
does not
necessarily
benefit general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
in the terms of personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.

In conclusion
, it is true that investing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
has countless merits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I observed that improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities is more beneficial to economic advancement and fiscal revenue growth,
therefore
it should
be attached
with greater importance. With well-equipped infrastructures, cities can
widely
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
, thereby increasing local wealth. By comparison,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
will not yield such instant and tangible returns.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: Many countries spend a lot of money in the arts. Some people think investment in the arts is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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