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Many countries now have people from different cultures and ethnic groups. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

Many countries now have people from different cultures and ethnic groups. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
In today's increasingly competitive job market, some people believe that candidates should focus on giving an excellent first impression during an interview because this is the best way to acquire a well-paid the job. Personally, I agree with this view, and I will justify my claim in the following paragraphs. To begin with, hiring managers use interviews as a first filter to make sure that they are passing along applicants who are genuinely interested in the job. In other words, employees should be standing out as being the best of the group during an interview because the employers are assessing them. According to a recent University of California, the study was about whether the first impressions that interviewers get while questioning a candidate has a tangible effect with the likelihood of calling back for a second interview or later receiving the job letter. The researchers found that the interview's initial impression of the candidates is the key-aspect of determining whether they are fit for the job or not. Another criterion that employers consider while conducting an interview is the prediction of the job-seeker performance in the job. To illustrate, while conducting a meeting, the social behaviour of an individual is being analyzed, and this analysis might determine the acceptance of the employee or not. For instance, when a person speaks, his body language and the words he or she make use are being evaluated, and they might become the reason for hiring in individual facilities such as marketing. Therefore, candidates need to show how smart they are during the company's interview. In conclusion, first impressions could potentially predict how well-fit the aspirant is for the job, and they can estimate the level of social interaction which the candidate can deal with effciently. Thus, applicants ought to be warned to be well prepared for the interview.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
increasingly
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
should focus on giving an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impression
during an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is the best way to acquire a well-paid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, and I will justify my claim in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, hiring managers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
filter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they are passing along applicants who are
genuinely
interested in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In other words
, employees should be standing out as being the best of the group during an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the employers are assessing them. According to a recent University of California, the study was about whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impressions
that interviewers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
while questioning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
has a tangible effect with the likelihood of calling back for a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
or later receiving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
letter. The researchers found that the interview's initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impression
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
is the key-aspect of determining whether they
are fit
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not.

Another criterion that employers consider while conducting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
is the prediction of the job-seeker performance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. To illustrate, while conducting a meeting, the social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of an individual is
being analyzed
, and this analysis might determine the acceptance of the employee or not.
For instance
, when a person speaks, his body language and the words he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "makes", "made".
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
are
being evaluated
, and they might become the reason for hiring in individual facilities such as marketing.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how smart they are during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's interview.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impressions
could
potentially
predict how well-fit the aspirant is for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, and they can estimate the level of social interaction which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
can deal with
Possible spelling mistake found.
effciently
.
Thus
, applicants ought to
be warned
to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well prepared
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Many countries now have people from different cultures and ethnic groups. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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