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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The food we ate in the past was healthier than the food we eat today. v.77

The food we ate in the past was healthier than the food we eat today. v. 77
Many visitors are showing their interest to visit troublesome places, like Sahara deserts or the Antartic, at the present time. Tourists could get exciting experiences from an adventurous trip, but there are many drawbacks to be taken into account. Firstly, one of the advantages of touring in challenging place is that it is full of adventure. Those who travel regularly may get bored by seeing normal tourist spots so that an adventurous journey can become a blessing for them. Secondly, an extreme place often offers the opportunity to enjoy the natural beauty closely. For example, to see the Royal Bengal Tiger in Sunderban, one might have to stay in the deep wood for a couple of days which could be very interesting but not out of danger. So, it is clear that dangerous places have many things to offer for the fearless sightseers. On the other hand, a major problem of traveling in an awkward place is that there could be no facilities for tourists. Not only the transportation is a chief problem, but also the telecommunication system is very poor in this area. For example, on the peak of the Mount Everest, if a person needs instant medical help, it will be very difficult for him to communicate to get an air ambulance. In some places, other facilities like food or security are totally difficult to provide. There is no doubt that the travelers need to be prepared mentally to face any unwanted situations. In conclusion, although some people are interested to have an adventurous journey by moving into a place where conditions are risky, its disadvantages, such as no medical support or no security, should not be ignored.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
visitors are showing their interest to visit troublesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, like Sahara deserts or the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Antartic
, at the present time. Tourists could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exciting experiences from an adventurous trip,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks to
be taken
into account.

Firstly
, one of the advantages of touring in challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is that it is full of adventure. Those who travel
regularly
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored by seeing normal tourist spots
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that an adventurous journey can become a blessing for them.
Secondly
, an extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
offers the opportunity to enjoy the natural beauty
closely
.
For example
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the Royal Bengal Tiger in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sunderban
, one might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay in the deep wood for a couple of days which could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to offer for the fearless sightseers.

On the other hand
, a major problem of traveling in an awkward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is that there could be no facilities for tourists. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the transportation is a chief problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the telecommunication system is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor in this area.
For example
, on the peak of the Mount Everest, if a person needs instant medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for him to communicate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an air ambulance. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, other facilities like food or security are
totally
difficult to provide. There is no doubt that the travelers need to
be prepared
mentally to face any unwanted situations.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are interested
to have an adventurous journey by moving into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where conditions are risky, its disadvantages, such as no medical support or no security, should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The food we ate in the past was healthier than the food we eat today. v. 77

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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