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Many countries consider eighteen year olds to be adults, while other countries don’t. What do you think about it? Give your opinion and some relevant examples based on your own experience. v.1

Many countries consider eighteen year olds to be adults, while other countries don’t. What do you think about it? Give your opinion and some relevant examples based on your own experience. v. 1
The governments all over the world have a taxation system, even though, many people find it as wastage of their hard earned money. I firmly believe that it is true and reasons for the same are discussed in this essay. One of the main reasons, why people hate to pay taxes, is that when they compare the facilities provided by the governments to the amount deducted from their pockets, they find it unreasonable. For instance, working people paying their taxes on time year after year, but they barely get to see any improvement in the poorly organized local transportation system, the government hospitals or schools. Thus, gradually they lose their trust in this practice of pick-pocketing their money. If they get charged so much, they wish to use better facilities or they will keep cursing the system. Furthermore, when it comes to taxes, it is not that they are only paying yearly taxes on what they earn but they need to pay extra charges on grocery shopping, toll taxes etcetera. Hence, they feel cheated by their own governments. New York Times published an article stating that in India people pay state and center taxes on the purchase of every single item. Therefore, they end up paying double tax on their shopping. Resultantly, many of them try to avoid paying taxes either by choosing a cash payment for their shopping or transferring money through black markets. In conclusion, if countries can justify their spending of money garnered through taxes and bring a unified tax system to keep everyone under the same umbrella, then only public will feel comfortable in paying taxes. Otherwise, in the current scenario, it is purely looting of public funds.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
all over the world have a taxation system,
even though
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it as wastage of their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I
firmly
believe that it is true and reasons for the same
are discussed
in this essay.

One of the main reasons, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hate to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, is that when they compare the facilities provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to the amount deducted from their pockets, they find it unreasonable.
For instance
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on time year after year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any improvement in the
poorly
organized local transportation system, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
hospitals or schools.
Thus
,
gradually
they lose their trust in this practice of pick-pocketing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
charged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much, they wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
better
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
facilities or
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
cursing the system.

Furthermore
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, it is not that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
yearly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on what they earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they need to pay extra charges on grocery shopping, toll
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
etcetera.
Hence
, they feel cheated by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. New York Times published an article stating that in India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay state and center
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of every single item.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
double
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on their shopping.
Resultantly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them try to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
either by choosing a cash payment for their shopping or transferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
through black markets.

In conclusion
, if countries can justify their spending of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
garnered through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
and bring a unified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
system to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
everyone under the same umbrella, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
public will feel comfortable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
Otherwise
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, it is
purely
looting of public funds.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many countries consider eighteen year olds to be adults, while other countries don’t. What do you think about it? Give your opinion and some relevant examples based on your own experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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