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TPO 51- do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Eighteen-year-olds are not mature enough to vote. use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v.1

TPO 51- Eighteen-year-olds are not mature enough to vote. use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 1
Nowadays, the topic of whether the printed media such as books, newspapers, and magazines will soon be replaced by the e-books or not is definitely a controversial one. Despite some people believe that printed media will soon be eliminated by generation. From my perspective, I still believe that hardcover books will never vanish. The following essay will illustrate my reasons and point of views. Many people think that printed media such as newspaper is uncomfortable to read not only because during flipping the newspaper, the fingers will have ink on them but also printed media is not so eco-friendly cause most of them are made from wood. Hence, they tend to read e-books online instead of reading printed media. However, it is a well-known fact that printed media still has significant role in this generation. In 2018, the total selling amount of hand over books is twofold compared to e-books online. It is exceedingly evidence that can prove people still keen on reading real books rather than e-books even they consider e-books are more efficient. Furthermore, for the health concern, it is no doubt to indicate that reading e-books online for a long period of time will harm your eyesight. A study showed that reading 1 hour in front of technology devices will diminish the degree of your eyesight. That is 2 times faster than reading a real book. Consequently, this repercussion drags down the willingness of people who are in favor of reading online. In summary, I would therefore reaffirm my opinion that although the developments of e-books have spread widely since they were created,   I still strongly believe that traditional printed media will last permanently owing to health concern and people's reading habits.
Nowadays, the topic of whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, newspapers, and magazines will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be replaced
by the e-books or not is definitely a controversial one. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be eliminated
by generation. From my perspective, I
still
believe that hardcover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will never vanish. The following essay will illustrate my reasons and point of views.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as newspaper is uncomfortable to read not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during flipping the newspaper, the fingers will have ink on them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
eco-friendly cause most of them
are made
from wood.
Hence
, they tend to read e-books online
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
However
,
it is a well-known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
still
has significant role in this generation. In 2018, the total selling amount of hand over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is twofold compared to e-books online. It is
exceedingly
evidence that can prove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
keen on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rather
than e-books even they consider e-books are more efficient.

Furthermore
, for the health concern, it is no doubt to indicate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
e-books online for a long period of time will harm your eyesight. A study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
1 hour in front of technology devices will diminish the degree of your eyesight.
That is
2 times faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Consequently
, this repercussion drags down the willingness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
online.

In summary, I would
therefore
reaffirm my opinion that although the developments of e-books have spread
widely
since they
were created
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I
still
strongly
believe that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will last
permanently
owing to health concern and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 51- Eighteen-year-olds are not mature enough to vote. use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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