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Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Leadership comes naturally: one cannot learn to be a leader. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.9

Question: Leadership comes naturally: one cannot learn to be a leader. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 9
Protecting our living habitat has become an important topic in the twenty first century. Many believe that it is government's duty to safeguard the environment, while the others believe that it should be done by the individuals. I believe that safeguarding should be equally shared by both parties. Those who believe governments should take responsibility of protecting the environment argues that individuals do not have the resources and power to take action. In other words, there have been many cases throughout the world where multinational organisations purposefully releasing chemical waste to local waterways breaking the law. It is obvious in these sorts of situations an individual or a group may not have the resources to prove or even power to prosecute large companies. Therefore, in these instances, the government has the total authority conduct an investigation and do what is right to protect the environment. Despite governments has full of resources and the power to take action against anyone, some believe that individuals have a social responsibility to protect the living habitat. To put differently, the environment should be safeguarded by everyone as the government cannot monitor and intervene each time someone disobeys the law by harming the nature. For instance, if an individual throws a garbage onto the street while no one is around might get away from the law, but it is not ethical or something that is done by a responsible citizen. In conclusion, governments are resourceful and have the authority to take action against anyone who breaks the lay by polluting the environment. In addition, governments cannot monitor and intervene each time someone disobey the law. In my opinion, protecting the environment is a responsibility of both the government and its citizens as they both have a role to play.
Protecting our living habitat has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
topic in the twenty
first
century.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's duty to safeguard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, while the others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it should
be done
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that safeguarding should be
equally
shared by both parties.

Those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should take responsibility of protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
do not have the resources and power to take action.
In other words
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases throughout the world where multinational
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
purposefully
releasing chemical waste to local waterways breaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
. It is obvious in these sorts of situations an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
or a group may not have the resources to prove or even power to prosecute large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Therefore
, in these instances, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the total authority conduct an investigation and do what is right to protect the environment.

Despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
has full of resources and the power to take action against anyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have a social responsibility to protect the living habitat. To put
differently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should
be safeguarded
by everyone as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot monitor and intervene each time someone disobeys the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
by harming the nature.
For instance
, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
throws
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "garbage".
a garbage
onto the street while no one is around might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not ethical or something that
is done
by a responsible citizen.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are resourceful and have the authority to take action against anyone who breaks the lay by polluting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
cannot monitor and intervene each time someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "disobeys", "disobeyed".
disobey
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is a responsibility of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and its citizens as they both have a role to play.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Question: Leadership comes naturally: one cannot learn to be a leader. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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