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Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? v.4

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
It is argued that along with economic growth social values become endangered, despite the improvement in quality of life. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of economic development with regards to its effect on society' system of values. There is no doubt that common wealfare should be a goal for any country. Every innovation and each technological breakthrough throughout history has had the main purpose of making people' s life better. From my own observation, I can tell that people are happier and more proactive during times of economic prosperacy, compared to the period of the financial crisis, which took place in 2009. From the other hand, chasing material benefits people often forget about social and humanistic values. In other words, the more emphasize people make on earning money, the less attention they pay to social aspects of life. It is a usual practice for those living in urban areas to gradually replace human interaction with more and more hours spent at work. As a result, they become anti-social, serving a poor example to the younger generation and forming an ever-evolving cycle. Various studies have shown that people, who live in metropolitan areas are more depressed, than those living in smaller towns. To conclude, just like any other issue, this one has more than one side, too. However, after consideration of both advantages and disadvantages of the influence that economic development has on the social part of our lives, I can say that in my opinion benefits overwigh drawbacks.
It
is argued
that along with
economic
growth
social
values become endangered, despite the improvement in quality of life. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of
economic
development
with regards to
its effect on
society&
#039; system of values.

There is no doubt that common
wealfare
should be a goal for any country. Every innovation and each technological breakthrough throughout history has had the main purpose of making
people&
#039; s life better. From my
own
observation, I can
tell
that
people
are happier and more proactive during times of
economic
prosperacy
, compared to the period of the financial crisis, which took place in 2009.

From the other hand, chasing material benefits
people
often
forget about
social
and humanistic values.
In other words
, the more emphasize
people
make
on earning money, the less attention they pay to
social
aspects of life. It is a usual practice for those living in urban areas to
gradually
replace human interaction with more and more hours spent at work.
As a result
, they become anti-social, serving a poor example to the younger generation and forming an ever-evolving cycle. Various studies have shown that
people
, who
live
in metropolitan areas are more depressed, than those living in smaller towns.

To conclude
,
just
like any other issue, this one has more than one side, too.
However
, after consideration of both advantages and disadvantages of the influence that
economic
development has on the
social
part of our
lives
, I can say that in my opinion benefits
overwigh
drawbacks.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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