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Life in the 21st century is better compared to the previous century. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Life in the 21st century is better compared to the previous century. v. 2
Since the beginning of the 21st century the world has been changing rapidly, extensively affecting such aspects of our lives, as education, healthcare, culture and leisure. In my opinion, despite some drawbacks of the current century, there are more positive sides, including development of the science and an easier access to information. On the one hand, there are some people, who consider the changes of the 21st century as negative, due to the effect of social networks and simplification of culture. The former is related to the tendency of spending more time in social media, including network websites, such as Facebook or LinkedIn and less time on life communication and interaction. Secondly, easy-to-digest art has been highly promoted during the past years, pushing back professional art performers. The newly discovered Internet stars from YouTube, Instagram and other Web platforms have come to replace some of the well-known musicians and artists. On the other hand, many argue that the world has become a better place to live, compared to the 20th century, to whom I agree. First of all, the revolutionary development of high technology has led to life-changing inventions in healthcare. Many diseases that were extremely perilous and even fatal in the past can now be cured easily. Besides that, one of the distinctions of the new age is the availability and free access to almost unlimited information. Would a person want to learn about historical events, scientific phenomenas or the latest discoveries worldwide, he will only need an electronic device and access to the Internet. Such amounts of information would previously take us centuries to find, digest and implement. To conclude, even though there are some demerits that are present in the 21st century, the benefits in terms of improved healthcare and free information do outweigh those and merit to be taken into account.
Since the beginning of the 21st century the world has been changing
rapidly
,
extensively
affecting such aspects of our
lives
, as education, healthcare, culture and leisure. In my opinion, despite
some
drawbacks of the
current
century, there are more
positive
sides, including development of the science and an easier access to information.

On the one hand, there are
some
people
, who consider the
changes
of the 21st century as
negative
, due to the effect of social networks and simplification of culture. The former
is related
to the tendency of spending more time in social media, including network websites, such as Facebook or LinkedIn and less time on life communication and interaction.
Secondly
, easy-to-digest art has been
highly
promoted during the past years, pushing back professional art performers. The
newly
discovered Internet stars from YouTube, Instagram and other Web platforms have
come
to replace
some of the
well-known musicians and artists.

On the other hand
,
many
argue that the world has become a better place to
live
, compared to the 20th century, to whom I
agree
.
First of all
, the revolutionary development of high technology has led to life-changing inventions in healthcare.
Many
diseases that were
extremely
perilous and even fatal in the past can
now
be cured
easily
.
Besides
that, one of the distinctions of the new age is the availability and free access to almost unlimited information. Would a person want to learn about historical
events
, scientific
phenomenas
or the latest discoveries worldwide, he will
only
need an electronic device and access to the Internet. Such amounts of information would previously take us
centuries
to find, digest and implement.

To conclude
,
even though
there are
some
demerits that are present in the 21st century, the benefits in terms of
improved
healthcare and free information do outweigh those and merit to
be taken
into account.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Life in the 21st century is better compared to the previous century. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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