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Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
In the last decades, the vast majority of nations have made economic progress their priority. This has resulted in a noticeable improvement in the quality of life albeit some negative social repercussions. Despite these drawbacks, I argue that this development has more merits. On one side of the argument, some people opine that the main disadvantage of financial prosperity is the loss of values such as the importance of family. One good illustration of this is that earlier, people used to pay visit to their relatives frequently while now, due to their heavy workload, they can only do that from time to time. This results in the loss of the bond between family members. Thus it is easy to see why this view is gaining support. Despite these repercussions, people’s lives are improved by economic development. The main reason of believing this is that this change has resulted in better living standards and consequently made people happier. Indeed, the more countries are developed, the more habitants are satisfied about their lives. A particularly good example of this is the ranking of countries where people are the most happy. Unsurprisingly, wealthy nations like Denmark and Norway are always ahead of developing countries. Seen in this light, economic prosperity has considerable positive impacts on people. Having considered a range of arguments, I have drawn the conclusion that although there are some demerits of financial development related to social values, I believe that they are outweighed by the positive impacts on people's wellbeing. It is hoped that these disadvantages will be minimized for the betterment of societies.
In the last decades, the vast majority of nations have made economic progress their priority. This has resulted in a noticeable improvement in the quality of life albeit
some
negative
social repercussions. Despite these drawbacks, I argue that this development has more merits.

On one side of the argument,
some
people
opine that the main disadvantage of financial prosperity is the loss of values such as the importance of family. One
good
illustration of this is that earlier,
people
used
to pay visit to their relatives
frequently
while
now
, due to their heavy workload, they can
only
do that from time to time. This results in the loss of the bond between family members.
Thus
it is easy to
see
why this view is gaining support.

Despite these repercussions,
people’s
lives
are
improved
by economic development. The main reason of believing this is that this
change
has resulted in better living standards and
consequently
made
people
happier.
Indeed
, the more countries
are developed
, the more habitants
are satisfied
about their
lives
. A
particularly
good
example of this is the ranking of countries where
people
are the most happy.
Unsurprisingly
, wealthy nations like Denmark and Norway are always ahead of
developing countries
.
Seen
in this light, economic prosperity has considerable
positive
impacts on
people
.

Having considered a range of arguments, I have drawn the conclusion that although there are
some
demerits of financial development related to social values, I believe that they
are outweighed
by the
positive
impacts on
people
's
wellbeing
. It
is hoped
that these disadvantages will
be minimized
for the betterment of societies.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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