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Many companies use advertisements to increase sales. What are the main reasons that make an advertisement effective? Is it a good thing or a bad thing to the society? v.5

Many companies use advertisements to increase sales. What are the main reasons that make an advertisement effective? Is it a good thing or a bad thing to the society? v. 5
In this era, the advertisement industry plays a vital role for any country’s social and economic progress. Nowadays, most of the companies tend to achieve their sales targets through attractive and meaningful advertisements. I consider this as a positive trend for society as ads are one of the influential factors to change people’s mindset. There are many reasons for any ad to be effective such as the product itself, the sale pitch and even the color scheme that is being used. To begin with, evidently, an effective advertisement increases the purchasing power of the people that lead to the economic stability of any country. The more people are influenced and attracted to a product, the more they buy. For instance, in running days, there are multiple online marts that deliver products at home. Housewives now have the liberty to do grocery without any dependency. The only way to shift people approach to do online shopping is through the right advertisement. To elucidate my stance further, ads are the biggest source of awareness for consumers nowadays about multiple products that can bring efficiency in their routine work. There are multiple products in the market, if not properly advertised; people being unaware, would not be able to buy. For instance, I personally bought a fruit cutting machine a couple of days back, seeing its ad on television that was so appealing that I considered the product essential for my daily kitchen work. To conclude, the importance and need of effective advertisement in this era cannot be overlooked. I reiterate that advertisement has innumerable benefits not only for the companies but for the society as well. Appropriate advertisement helps boost buying capacity and also educate consumers to buy useful products.
In this era, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
industry plays a vital role for any country’s social and economic progress. Nowadays, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to achieve their sales targets through attractive and meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. I consider this as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend for society as ads are one of the influential factors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mindset. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for any ad to be effective such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
itself, the sale pitch and even the color scheme
that is
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
evidently
, an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
increases the purchasing power of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that lead to the economic stability of any country. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are influenced
and attracted to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, the more they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
For instance
, in running days, there are multiple online marts that deliver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at home. Housewives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have the liberty to do grocery without any dependency. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to shift
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
approach to do online shopping is through the right advertisement.

To elucidate my stance
further
, ads are the biggest source of awareness for consumers nowadays about multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that can bring efficiency in their routine work. There are multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market, if not
properly
advertised;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being unaware, would not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
For instance
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a fruit cutting machine a couple of days
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "backs"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'back' is not always incorrect.)
back
, seeing its ad on television that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
appealing that I considered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
essential for my daily kitchen work.

To conclude
, the importance and need of effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in this era cannot
be overlooked
. I reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has innumerable benefits not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the society
as well
. Appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
boost buying capacity and
also
educate consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many companies use advertisements to increase sales. What are the main reasons that make an advertisement effective? Is it a good thing or a bad thing to the society? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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