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Many companies use advertisements to increase sales. What are the main reasons that make an advertisement effective? Is it a good thing or a bad thing to the society? v.3

Many companies use advertisements to increase sales. What are the main reasons that make an advertisement effective? Is it a good thing or a bad thing to the society? v. 3
Nowadays, ironically, the amount of disturbance seen in entertaining goods is increasingly mounted, which makes a matter of grave concern amongst parents. There are many adverse ramifications as to this phenomenon, and I do believe that these can be mitigated by just some simple prompt actions. It is believed that a high level of rampage can have negative impacts on the behaviours and attitudes of children. First of all, there is highly likely to motivate children to commit a crime. Given the fact that the cognitive skills of children do not develop entirely at this stage, fights between superheroes and super-villain can court them to imitate these aggressive actions. Moreover, a sizable promotion of films and arcade games offer free advertising for guns and propaganda for brutality. Due to the extreme thrill of these episodes, many children might want to experiment with them in the real world. Take GTA game series, which is one of the most prevalent and popular video games, as a shining example. Throughout the story, the gamer should follow the orders to kill innocent people to make enough money for buying new guns. Hence, these types of entertainment might have a dire influence on the subconscious of children. What rectifies this problem in my point of view is labelling and physical activity promotion. I deem that at the first stage, all entertaining products should be labelled based on the level of the violence and contents so as to be quickly recognizable with both parents and sellers. The next step can be the limitation of accessibility of the children for these products by setting some strict laws. Consequently, nobody can sell these products to children unless they are obliged to. In addition, parents and schools should promote physical activities as an alternative for other sorts of entertainment. As a result, they will have more interaction with their peers which developing not only their linguistic skill but also their social and emotional skills. By way of conclusion, I hold that children need more protection against the violent content scenes in movies and video games or even tv programs as they are more susceptible to probable side effects of these entertaining goods. Thus, labelling and finding an alternative activity for their pastime can be beneficial.
Nowadays,
ironically
, the amount of disturbance
seen
in entertaining
goods
is
increasingly
mounted, which
makes
a matter of grave concern amongst parents. There are
many
adverse ramifications as to this phenomenon, and I do believe that these can
be mitigated
by
just
some
simple prompt actions.

It
is believed
that a high level of rampage can have
negative
impacts on the
behaviours
and attitudes of
children
.
First of all
, there is
highly
likely to motivate
children
to commit a crime.
Given
the fact that the cognitive
skills
of
children
do not develop
entirely
at this stage, fights between superheroes and super-villain can court them to imitate these aggressive actions.
Moreover
, a sizable promotion of films and arcade
games
offer free advertising for guns and propaganda for brutality. Due to the extreme thrill of these episodes,
many
children
might want to experiment with them in the real world. Take GTA game series, which is one of the most prevalent and popular video
games
, as a shining example. Throughout the story, the gamer should follow the orders to kill innocent
people
to
make
enough
money for buying new guns.
Hence
, these types of entertainment might have a dire influence on the subconscious of children.

What rectifies this problem in my point of view is labelling and physical activity promotion. I deem that at the
first
stage, all entertaining products should
be labelled
based on the level of the violence and contents
so as to
be
quickly
recognizable with both parents and sellers. The
next
step can be the limitation of accessibility of the
children
for these products by setting
some
strict laws.
Consequently
, nobody can sell these products to
children
unless they
are obliged
to.
In addition
, parents and schools should promote physical activities as an alternative for other sorts of entertainment.
As a result
, they will have more interaction with their peers which developing not
only
their linguistic
skill
but
also
their social and emotional
skills
.

By way of conclusion, I hold that
children
need more protection against the violent content scenes in movies and video
games
or even
tv
programs as they are more susceptible to probable side effects of these entertaining
goods
.
Thus
, labelling and finding an alternative activity for their pastime can be beneficial.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many companies use advertisements to increase sales. What are the main reasons that make an advertisement effective? Is it a good thing or a bad thing to the society? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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